Cheated Myself
by Charlie Belle
Summary: Bella falls into a destructive state of mind after Edward breaks up with her. She numbs her aching heart with drugs, alcohol and sex. After a year and a half, Edward finally returns to a Bella he no longer recognizes. Set after New Moon. Lemons.
1. No Good

**Upstairs in bed, with my ex boy,  
>He's in a place, but I can't get joy,<br>Thinking on you in the final throes,  
><strong>_You Know I'm No Good  
><em>_by Amy Winehouse_

**Cheated Myself  
><strong>**Chapter One: No Good**

I remember that night. The night _he_ left me, taking my heart with him. A vacant ache took its place. No matter how hard I try to drown the memories out, they always go back to September 16, 2008.

"_I don't want you anymore…_"

Everyday that fucking sentence plays in my head. A constant reminder of how I was a worthless human to him. Left behind by those that I thought loved me. I believed every word Edward Cullen told me. That he loved me, and were to be together forever. _Lying piece of shit vampire_.

"Bella,"

I snapped my head up to see Jacob standing before me at the end of my bed. _How did he get his clothes back on so fucking quick_? His arms were crossed at his chest, causing his already bulging biceps to seem larger. An annoyed expressions was on his bronze face.

"What?"

"Have you been listening to anything I've been saying?"

"No," I reached down for my shirt "But I'm sure it nothing different."

"Fucking bitch,"

He scuffed under his breath and walked out of my bedroom. I rolled my eyes at him, and stood from my rumpled sheets. This was typical of Jake. After a fuck, he always wanted to talk. I wasn't into that type of shit. My deal was fuck, get high, and then possibly fuck again. But after a year, Jacob thinks that we are a couple. _Bullshit_.

We are not a damn couple.

Reaching over to my side table, I grabbed the nearly empty bottle of Jack, and took a large gulp. A groan left my lips as the liquor traveled down my throat. The ache, where my heart once was, began to numb the moment the alcohol entered my system.

"Jake? Jake!"

Walking out to the main part of my apartment, I saw that there was no sign of him. When I looked out my window, looking over the street, I saw that his motorcycle was gone. Typical. He'll be back, they always do.

As I took a seat on my couch, I reached forward and grabbed a joint from my cigarette case. Just as I lit, and took the first drag, my cell phone rang. Leah Clearwater.

"What's up?"

"Where the fuck did you disappear to last night?" She yelled into my phone "One minute we are doing shots, and the next you are gone."

"Jacob and I left and came back here."

"Again? I thought you'd be done with him?"

"No, he's my number one. The rest are just…." I let the sentence hang. "Don't judge."

"With you, never. Just warn me or give me heads up. Emily was freaking out."

"Tell Emily to stop acting like my mother. The real one is dead, and I don't need a fucking replacement."

Leah chuckle, whispered a good-bye, and then hung up. Looking around my apartment, I saw the mess Jacob and I had made last night. _Fuck, I've gotta clean_.

* * *

><p>It's fucking raining, like always, which means no one was going to want to get together tonight. Already the effect from the alcohol and marijuana were starting to wear off. The hole in my chest was growing, and it was like the floodgate of my mind snapped open. The memories were rushing back to me. I didn't want this. I didn't want to remember.<p>

-September 16, 2008-

"_Please, you can't leave me." _

"_We have to, Bella. People are starting to catch on to Carlisle not aging. Its been 5 years, and he looks no where near 40."_

"_Then let me come up with something to tell Charlie."_

"_No, I don't want you to come with me." Edward spoke firmly_

_ That was it. The line that felt like he reached into my chest and ripped out my heart. My knees began to go weak as his words sank in. He didn't want me._

"_I don't get it." I whispered "Did last night not mean anything?"_

"_You're not good for me, Bella." His golden eyes grew cold "I don't want you anymore."_

I jolted awake. I didn't even realize that I fell asleep. My lips were parted with a silent scream. My heart hammered hard within my chest. His voice still echoes in my brain. I brought my knees to my chest as a sob ripped through me.

"_It would be like I never existed_"

Lies, fucking lies. Every where I turned. He was there.

Getting up, I walked to my kitchen and rummaged through my lower cabinets for a drink. The only bottle I had left was empty. Another cry left my mouth, this time in frustration.

"_You're not good for me, Bella_"

"Stop it! Stop it!"

I let out a scream of surprise as the sounds of my cell phone rang through my apartment. Tripping over a few things lying on the floor, I eventually reached my cell phone.

"Hello?" I whimpered

"Bella, are you ok?"

Jake. Just like I predicted, he caved and ended up calling me. His voice held worry, but that didn't help my state of mind. Edward was still there. I both welcomed it, but repelled it like a deadly disease. Sometimes I wish Edward would fade from my mind.

"I need you Jake, please."

"I'm on my way."

I hung up my phone, but then quickly sent him a text to get beer before he came. Besides sex, Jake was good at getting me alcohol. Seeing as I'm only 18, and he's 21.

* * *

><p>Jake didn't even have to knock. He just walked in, with beer in hand. My episode already was gone and in the past, but I could still use one. <em>Fuck, I could always use one<em>. He sighed softly and set the beer on the floor beside my bed. We stared at each other for a moment, before reaching down to get myself a drink.

"Nightmare?" He asked

"Always" I nodded

"Are you going to ever tell me about this guy? Edmund…Edwin…"

"Ed_ward_," I snapped "And no, I don't speak about him."

Jacob nodded his head, and then opened up a beer for himself. I chugged down half of mine, before speaking again.

"Did you bring any drugs?"

"I've got some X. Want?"

"Yeah."

Reaching into his pocket, Jake pulled out a small Ziploc bag. Then pour two pills onto my open palm. Quickly I popped them, before being chased it with some beer.

"Come here,"

Jacob pulled on my arm, causing me to lie across his lap. His hand caressed my cheek, before he bent down and kissed me on the lips. Jacob fisted the hair in the back of my head, keeping me in place as he kissed me.

Fifteen minutes into our make-out session, the effects of the drugs started to happen. My small hands were reaching all over his body, trying to rid him of his clothing. Jacob threw my down on the bed, and hovered above my body.

"Fuck, Bells, slow down."

Jake groaned against my lips as I reached forward and stroked his member. He was no Edward Cullen, but enough to satisfy my needs. He whimpered once more, and soon started to return the favor.

His fingers sunk deep within my core, while his thumb rubbed up against my clit. I could feel my orgasm approaching quickly. My moans grew louder as Jacob manipulated my body.

"Jake, please…oh god, yes."

"Come on, baby. Let go."

My back arched as my orgasm washed over me. My body tensed and slowly relaxed. Once I was over my orgasmic haze, I pushed Jake back and took him into my mouth. Didn't take him too long. As he panted and relaxed against my headboard, I reached over for my beer. Lying across the end of my bed, naked, and sexually satisfied.

_What would Edward think?_

_ Who fucking cares?_

_ You do. Because you are in love with a man, who no longer wants you._

**-Please Review-**

* * *

><p><strong>Charlie's Note<strong>: I was listening to "You Know I'm No Good" by Amy Winehouse, and this story flooded my brain. I know its about Amy cheating in the song, but I'm twisting it from my POV. Please tell me what you think!

**Tumblr: belle-charlie**


	2. Lullaby

**Because maybe  
>You're gonna be the one that saves me<br>And after all  
>You're my wonderwall<strong>

_~ Wonderwall by Oasis_

Cheated Myself

Chapter Two: Lullaby

"Are you coming to hunt tonight?"

My sister, Alice, stood in the doorway of my bedroom; her eyes looked toward me with sympathy. The same look she's been giving me for over a year now. But I didn't deserve it.

"No, go on without me."

My voice was dead, held no emotion. Alice let out a sigh and pushed off the door frame. Moments later I felt her sit beside me.

"_You have to eat, Edward"_

I groaned in frustration as Alice's words entered my mind.

"You can't keep torturing yourself like this Edward? It's not healthy"

"Alice, please…" I begged

"It's been two months since your last feed."

"I know."

I could still feel the burning itch at the back of my throat. But I no longer saw a point to feed. But no longer saw the point of feeding.

"I'm not going." I spoke firmly

After a minute or two, Alice got up and left my room. I was thankful that she left. At least twice a month Alice, or Emmett, tried to get me to go hunting or do something with the family. But I no longer felt the need to be around them anymore. I wasn't going to force myself to be happy when I really wasn't.

Alice was right, this was my punish to myself, for my decision. It wasn't easy leaving Bella. Slowly everyday I was dying without her. But this was better for her. The night of her birthday finally opened my eyes. A simply fucking paper cut nearly cost Bella her life. Seeing Jasper struggling against Emmett and Jasper's arms to try and get to Bella was the final straw It opened my eyes to the danger that I was putting her in.

First James, and now my own brother. How much would happen before she would die? And I wasn't going to let the happen, not when I could've stopped it. So I left her. Knowing that it was best.

Continuously I had to tell myself that this was better for her. Bella could have a normal life for herself. My dead heart ached at just the thought of her being with another man.

She was my mate. _Mine_.

But you left her.

* * *

><p>It was night time now, and my family still hadn't returned. I took that as an opportunity to go play with my piano. Barely get to play it much. I walked into the living room and straight to my black piano sitting in the far corner. Once my fingers touched the keys, Bella's lullaby wafted through the air. Memories of when I first played for her came to me.<p>

_~ November 20th, 2007 ~_

"_You play?"_

_ Bella walked toward my piano, a sense of excitement in her voice. Her fingers grazed the top of it as she walked around it._

"_Yes,"_

"_Play me something?"_

_ How could I deny her? She looked toward me with her doe eyes, and a bright smile. I nodded my head and walked toward the piano bench. Bella sat down beside me and I could hear her heart beating with excitement. _

_ Immediately the lullaby I've been hearing in my since the moment I showed Bella my meadow began to play. It was the day that I fell in love with her. I also knew from then on that Bella was my mate, the one for me._

"_Edward, that was beautiful" She smiled_

"_You inspired it," I confessed_

"_Really?"_

_ I nodded my head and smiled down toward her. A blush spread across her cheeks as she ducked her head. Oh, how beautiful she was._

"_That's the sweetest thing anyone has…ever done for me." Bella spoke softly_

_ She looked back up toward me. Her eyes holding emotion that made my dead heart beat. Love. Reaching forward and caressed her cheek, the bush disappearing slowly. Leaning forward, I brushed my lips against hers. Our lips moved against each others in a passionate kiss. Her hand reached up and fisted the hair at the nape of my neck. But I pulled away so that she could catch a breath._

"_I love you, Bella."_

"_I love you too, Edward."_

My fingers halted as the memory ended. Leaving the last note hanging in the air, before the whole song could be finished.

"_I love you too, Edward"_

"I love you, Isabella." I spoke aloud

God, how I've missed her. There were moments to where I nearly caved in, and went back to Forks. So that I could beg for her to forgive me, and tell her that I lied about everything. But always afraid to do so, for I was afraid to what I would find. To find her in the arms of another. _I'd fucking kill him_.

"Edward,"

Looking up, and over to my left, I saw my mother. Esme had a gentle smile on her face. Her once dark eyes, now a golden amber from the hunt before.

"It's been a while since you've played." She spoke "I've missed hearing you play."

"Thank you." I spoke softly.

"Why did you decide to play again?"

Shrugging my shoulders, I got up from the bench and walked away from my piano.

"No reason,"

"Edward, you can go on trying to fool everyone else that you are alright – but I know better." Esme spoke as I stopped before her.

"I'm perfectly fine,"

"You're lying. You barely go out, even to hunt, you stay up in your bedroom and have barely spoken to anyone is a year. I know that doesn't seem a long time for vampires. But we are your family, Edward, you can't block us out." She paused "Why do you continue to go on with nonsense, and to put yourself through this pain. You _know_ mates can't be apart from each other. I'm sure Bella is feeling the same."

"Bella is fine." I snapped "She's having a normal life, just like I planned."

"Yes! You planned it for her. But what about Bella's choice. I've lost my daughter; because you wanted us to leave her, don't make me lose my son also. Edward you are torturing yourself. This isn't necessary."

"Esme, stop" I snapped "Nothing will change my mind. My decision has been made."

* * *

><p>Night had fallen, and everyone had returned to their rooms. Including myself. Music was lightly playing thought the speakers as I sat on my bed. Sometime I wish I could sleep, so that I wouldn't have moments like this. Where my thoughts ate away at my brain.<p>

"_Jasper this is becoming too much. You see how he's getting worse each day_"

From down the hall, I could hear both Jasper and Alice talking to each other. About the usual topic, me.

"_Alice, you need to stay out of it_"

"_Jazz, tell me you don't feel is despair, and the need he has for her._"

"_I do,_" He sighed

"_Then we must do something,_" She whispered "_I keep getting visions of Bella. I can't stop them._"

"_You'll have to try harder, darlin'._"

"_I can't Jasper. She's my best friend; I can't just stop thinking about her._"

Were my thoughts wrong? Was Bella not like how I hoped?

**-Please Review-**

**Charlie's Note: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF THE REVIEW'S AND ALERTS! I was so happy to see them all, and see that people actually likes this story. It made my day. Thank you so much. Please tell me your thoughts on this chapter.**

_Tumblr**: **belle-charlie_


	3. Wanting More

**What am I to you  
>tell me darling true<br>To me you are the sea  
>Vast as you can be<br>and deep the shade of blue**

~ What Am I To You? By Norah Jones

Cheated Myself

Chapter Three: Wanting More

_Bella Swan – Forks, WA_

The good thing about summer is that you don't have to do shit. That also is the bad part. So when your friends and family know that all you do is lie around and do nothing, they wanna do stuff with you. Try and get you to do things with them, when that's the last thing on earth you would do. Like my father for example.

Ever since Edward had left, that day – the relationship with my father was never the same. Since I fell more and more into myself each day, we never did anything. My depression made him uncomfortable, I could tell. My days consisted of my waking up, going to school, coming home, and doing nothing. I lost my friends, and spent my nights up in my room.

One time he tried to get me to go live with my mother, Renee, but that didn't work. Obviously. I snapped, and threw a temper tantrum like a four year old. I destroyed some on the pictures on the wall, as I threw them. Ended up putting a hole in his plasma, as I threw an ash tray toward him, missing him by a hair. That night, I packed up all my shit in my truck, and left. Never looked back, and had to live in my truck for two weeks before find the apartment I have now.

But Charlie always tried to better our relationship. He called me, most of then went to the machine. Emailed me like a mother fucker, again, most went unanswered. My father was still reaching out for the daughter he lost over a year ago.

Like this morning, I woke up to my cell phone ringing, and checked the ID to see that it was Charlie. With an aggravated sigh, I flipped my phone open.

"What, dad?" I spoke, sleep still in my voice.

My head began to pound almost instantly from my hang-over from last night.

"Bells," Charlie spoke, surprise in his voice "How are you this morning?"

"Hung-over."

He sighed heavily "Bells, you're under aged, and I'm the chief of police. Do you really think you should be telling me thing?"

"Are you going to come and arrest me?" I snapped

"No."

"Then we are fine," a pause "What do you want?"

"Um…Sue is having a BBQ tonight. I was wondering if you wanted to come."

Sue Clearwater, Leah's mother and the only woman on this plant I hated more then myself at the moment. And she happened to be Charlie's new girlfriend. He always wants us to hang out together, but I hated that bitch. She always tried to replace my mother. No one replaced Renee. No matter if she is dead or not.

"I don't know dad…"

"Come on, Bella. I barely get to see you anymore"

Fucking shit. Guilt trip. I sighed in annoyance and rolled my eyes. My dad was more of a pussy then he gave on to. He always acted like 14 year old girl, and whined, when he didn't get his way.

"Fine, what time?"

"6pm, down on First Beach."

Without even saying good-bye, or anything, I hung up my phone. Even though I loved my father unconditionally, sometimes, I wanted to kill him at the same fucking time.

* * *

><p>It was an unusually hot night in Washington. So, I changed into a tank top and shorts, before I drove down to La Push. Around 6:30pm, I was heading down the road. I knew that I was late, but didn't really give a fuck. Rarely, you would find me down at First Beach, unless there was a party of some sort. With beer, and weed, and things to help me enjoy the party – not sober. This wasn't going to be one of those parties, so it was going to be a long ass night.<p>

My ride was drive in silence. Music was no longer a form of entertainment for me. Because no matter what, every song reminded me of him.

"_It will be like I never existed…"_

Worst fucking lie he ever told me, right next to the fact that he loved me. At least that one made sense. But I saw him every where I went. No matter how hard I try, I think of him. I'm in love with a man that doesn't love me back_. I know, pathetic_.

* * *

><p>"Bella! Finally, now that party can start!"<p>

The moment I hopped out of my truck, I saw Leah running up toward my truck. Her tan skin stood out against her white bikini top and matching shorts. Immediately, my mood improved some what.

"What's up, bitch" I smiled

"Nothing. 'Rents are being boring fuckers and keep wondering where the hell you are." Leah explained

"Did you bring party favors?"

"Paul's got 'em in his car for when Sue and Charlie leave."

Leah grabbed my hand and pulled me down toward the BBQ. Charlie was at the grill, while Sue was sitting a picnic table not too far away. I rolled my eyes at them both. Smiling at each other like 16 year olds in love. Disgusting. Looking over the beach, I saw some of the boys in the water, and other's kicking a soccer ball down further.

"Bella, glad you finally came." Charlie spoke

"Hey, dad" I shot my eyes toward Sue "Sue."

"Bella, how are you?"

I wanted nothing more to reach forward, and slap the fake ass smile off her cracking old face.

"Perfect."

I grabbed a soda from the cooler at the end of the table, and walked away from them as quickly as possible. Already knowing they were going to talk about me the moment I was out of ear shot.

Behind a log, facing away from where Charlie and Sue were stationed, I saw that Paul had hidden some vodka. I opened the bottle, pouring some into my soda can. _Guess tonight I won't be sober_. I took three long drinks, before setting it down in the sand. Next, Leah and I took off our clothes, revealing our bikinis beneath our clothes, and joined the boys in the water seconds later.

* * *

><p>The sun had set and now everyone, minus the adults, was sitting around the fire. People were making smores, drinking, smoking, or a combination of them all. Leah sat across from me, settled between Paul's open legs. They both were passing a joint between them. Jared and his girlfriend, Kim, were about three seconds away from giving us a live porno show. They thought cause they were in the tent, that no one could see them. Problem was, they left the screen door open. We could see them, and some. Even though Sam and Emily were much older then us, only by four years, they were no better then us. They were usually the suppliers. They were sitting almost on top of each other drinking and making smores. They had a count of the munchies, and swallowed down about 5 smores in 15 minutes.<p>

"Want some?"

Jacob plopped down next to me, and passed me the bottle of vodka from before. Only this time it was about half empty. Nodding my head, I grabbed and took a nice swig of the alcohol.

"You better today?" He asked

"Sort of." I sighed "Thanks for coming over and staying with me. You're a good…friend."

Jacob sighed "Friend? Is that what I am to you?"

"With benefits of course. But yes"

Jacob mumbled something beneath his breath and stood quickly from the log bench. He even snatched the bottle from me, and walked away. My eyes shot up to him in shock and watched as he walked away from me, nearly chugging the bottle as he neared the water. Next, my gaze fell onto Leah. She simply shrugged her shoulder toward me, and turned back to Paul.

"What the hell is your problem?" I asked, once I got closer to Jake.

"Nothing." He spat

"Bullshit. What did I do this time?"

"What are we doing, Bella?" Jacob asked "What is this?"

"Us, being friends. Like we have been for months?"

"Do you not understand that I want more? I thought you would by now?"

Jacob spoke angrily toward me, but I could see the hurt in his eyes. I knew that he wanted more. I've known for a while, but I tried to ignore it, hoping that it would go away. Now, instead, it was coming to a head.

"Jake, you know I can't…do that right now…"

"Its been a year! He left over a fucking year ago" Jacob yelled "I get it you need time, but for how fucking long?"

Suddenly I felt extremely small and vulnerable. My heart was in my throat, which made me feel like I couldn't breath at all. The hold in my chest started to open; Jake was the one to do so. My knees buckled slightly beneath me, but I kept up on my feet.

"You don't know shit" I whimpered

"Exactly. Because you won't talk to me, Bella. You have to talk to me"

"Talking only makes it worse! Did you ever think of that? All of this shit isn't helping me." I cried "Just please, can this be enough?"

"For how long? I can't wait forever." Jake asked, his voice not holding anger anymore.

I bit my lip, and wiped away some tears "Six months. I-I'll try."

Jacob paused, and I could tell he was thinking about it. After a minute or so, he nodded his head and walked toward me. In three giant steps, I was wrapped up in his warm arms. The hole in my chest started to close up, and the pain went with it. Because I didn't lose another person close to my heart. I don't know if I could handle that. I had already lost Renee and The Cullen's, I couldn't lose Jacob too.

**-Please Review-**

**Charlie's Note: Thank you so much for the reviews. They make me smile. This story is going to work quicker then most of you would probably think. Also, another thing, there are no werewolves in this story. Jake and everyone from "the pack" are human. The Cullen's are the only "monsters". **

_**TUMBLR: belle-charlie**_


	4. First Meet

**Walked into the room you know  
>you made my eyes burn<br>it was like, James Dean, for sure  
>you're so fresh to death<br>& sick as ca-cancer  
>~<strong> Blue Jeans by Lana Del Rey

Cheated Myself  
>Chapter Four: First Meet<br>Bella Swan – Forks, WA

_September 10, 2007 _

It was bad enough to move in with Charlie, since I barely knew the man. But I was starting my senior year in a completely new city, and school. To say I was nervous would be an understatement. My stomach was ready to up and fly with all the butterflies I had.

After stopping by the office to pock up my schedule, I headed down the hall toward my first class room. The hallways were empty, since classes started about five minutes ago. It as good thing, till I walked into my first hour, and every eye in the room looked at me. My butterflies multiplied.

"Can I help you?"

A short stumpy type of woman with bright red hair asked me. Her smile was kind, but I could tell she was annoyed that I had interrupted her class. Her grey eyes gave it away.

"Um, my name is Isabella Swan, I'm the new student?"

_That wasn't meant to come out like a question_.

"Ah, yes!"

Her voice elevated and became extremely squeaky.

"I'm Ms. Calie, so nice to meet you" She shook my hand "Class, this is our new student from Phoenix, AZ. Please make her feel welcome."

I smiled timidly toward this stares focused on me. She took the slip from my hand, and walked to a cabinet, seconds later returning with an English book.

"Dear, you will be sitting next to Edward." She turned toward the class "Edward, please raise your hand."

From the corner of my eye, I saw a hand shoot up. My eyes widened to the sight before me. Adonis was sitting at the third table to the back, with an empty chair beside him. _My empty chair_. With my new book held tight to my chest, I walked toward the table.

I stumbled into my seat and could hear some people chuckle. The teacher quickly returned to her lesson. Digging into my backpack, I pulled out a notebook and a pen. From beside me, I could feel eyes burning in the side of my head. Quickly my gaze went to my right; beside me Edward Cullen was sending me death glares. His black onyx eyes stared down at me. My heart stopped for a moment, and my blood ran cold. He looked severely pissed off at me. What had I done?

* * *

><p>As hard as I tried, nothing came to mind. Only twenty seconds into my first day at Forks High, and I have an enemy. <em>A hot enemy<em>.

"Ok, that'll do for today," Ms. Colie spoke "And Edward, will you please be kind enough to show Isabella around?"

"Sure,"

His answer was short and crass. Just as the bell rang, Edward shot up from his chair, and was gone. I stood there in shock._ He moved so quickly, almost inhuman_. After I packed my things up, I swung my bag over my shoulder. Just as I cleared the doorway of the classroom. Edward Cullen came into my view. He was leaning against the wall next to the door outside the classroom. His grip was deathly tight on his bag and head down.

"I-I thought you left" I spoke

"You thought wrong." His black eyes looked down to me "Do you want me to show you around, or not?"

"Y-yes please."

Without another word, he pushed off the wall and led me down the hall. It was hard to keep up with his long strides; I was almost jogging down the hall beside him.

"Did I do something wrong?" I spoke

Edward looked back toward me, but didn't answer. We came to what looked like the front hall. He stopped quickly, causing me to run into him. It was like walking straight into a brick wall.

"Fuck," I moaned in pain.

"Are you alright?"

His voice was still tight, but the hostile anger was gone from his dark eyes.

"I-I'm fine."

Quickly Edward began to point in the direction of the main rooms. The café, library, and office.

"Do you want me to show you to your classes?" Edward asked

"No, I-I'm fine. I can find my way around." I sighed "Not to mention you don't look like you want to anyways."

Edward reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose "Look, I'm having a bad day. Don't mean to take it out on you."

"Ok," I smile hesitatly "I wouldn't want to be stuck with the new kid either."

The corner of his lips turned up into a crooked smile. Without the angry look on his face, you truly got to see how beautiful Edward was. God was having an extremely happy day when he was made.

* * *

><p>The rest of my day was dull compared to my moment with Edward. I met Angela in my gym class, and her boyfriend Ben. I sat with them at lunch, meeting more of their friends.<p>

The whole time Angela and Jessica were talking to me, my eyes were focused on the table across from me directly. Only three tables separated Edward Cullen from me. He sat at the table with other people, all just as beautiful as him.

"Angela, who are they?"

Angela stopped mid-sentence, and turned toward the table Edward was sitting at, with the five others. I watched as a smirk crossed her lips.

"Those are the Cullen. They moved here from Alaska last year." She started "Their parents, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, adopted them all where they were kids."

"And they are all together. Like, together – together." Jessica added, jumping into the conversation.

"Jess, they aren't actually related. You do know that right?" Angela asked

"So, it still looks incestuous." Jessica psoke "The big burly guy, Emmett, is with Rosalie. That's the blonde girl, and her twin brother, Jasper is with the small brunette, Alice. The only single one is…"

"Edward, yes. We've met" I interrupted

My gaze moved from Jessica, and back to the table, in which the Cullen's were sitting. My breath stopped, when I saw that he was looking directly at me. _Could he hear me? Impossible_. But the look on his face made me feel like he could.

"But, one thing for sure, they all walk around like they are better then everyone here." Jessica continued "Seems no one is good enough for them to join their 'clique'."

"Have you ever try and get to know them?"

"Many. But they pretty much keep to themselves" Angela spoke softly

"I wouldn't waste your time with them," Jessica sighed

"I'm not."

* * *

><p>When I returned from school, I saw that Charlie wasn't home. Since I've been here, I haven't been able to look around Forks. Dropping my bag in the door, I began to head down the path I saw in the backyard. Seeing that woods was the only thing that Forks had to offer. I took a walk to just have a moment alone.<p>

I felt like a fucking fish in super small tank, and everyone was poking at the glass. That tank being Forks, WA. Through out the day, kids and teachers came up to me. Asking _'Do you remember me?' 'Is Chief Swan really your father?' 'Can I help you?' 'Where are you from?'_. I'm not one for attention, I hate it. So today was a little over whelming.

"Bella?"

I let out a shriek, and turned to see Edward not too far from me. I was so lost in my own mind, I didn't even hear him. Edward walked toward me, with a confused look on his face. But the first thing I noticed was his eyes. They were no longer black, they were liquid gold color.

"What are you doing here?" I asked

"Could ask you the same," He chuckled "My brothers and I are out here looking for a site for next weekend. You?"

"Ah….a walk. Needed to clear my head."

Edward smiled down toward me, which nearly knocked me off my ass.

"Rough first day?"

I nodded "That'd be an understatement."

"Well, I'm sure I didn't make it better. I'm sorry about that"

"Its alright" I whispered

"Mind if I join you on that walk?" Edward asked

"Sure."

Little did I know that walk would turn into something more. That next week would lead to a year to where I would fall in love with Edward Cullen, and his family. Only to have it broken and destroyed.

**-Please Review-**

**Charlie's Note: Just a little flashback on how Edward and Bella met. The next chapter will be in E's POV, since some of you have been asking for him again. But, don't know when it will be up. I am moving next weekend, and have to pack this week, and don't know when I'll have internet again. Thanks so much for the reads and reviews. **

**Ps. Two next _twifics_ coming soon. Both Edward and Bella. Both completely different. Summaries coming soon! **


	5. Visions

**One I wish I never played  
>Oh what a mess we made<br>And now the final frame  
>Love is a losing game<strong>

~ Love is a Losing Game by Amy Winehouse

Cheated Myself

Chapter Five: Visions

Edward Cullen – Alaska

It has been about a week since I've heard both Alice and Jasper talk of Bella. Deep down, I wanted to know exactly what Alice has been seeing. And by the tone of her voice that night, it wasn't going to be something that would be joyful. But when I asked her, I wanted no other family member around.

When night started to fall, I rose up from my bed and headed downstairs. From their thoughts, I knew that Jasper was with Emmett in the basement playing some sort of video game. Meaning that Alice was alone in the living room.

As I walked into the living room, my eyes spotted Alice in a matter of seconds. She sat completely still on the couch with her back to me.

"Alice,"

It was almost impossible to scare a vampire. But Alice nearly jumped out of her skin, and screamed loud enough to wake the dead.

"Alice!" Jasper's voice sounded from the basement.

"I-I'm fine, Jazz, it's just Edward." Alice shouted back, and then turned toward me "What the hell, Edward?"

"Sorry," I chuckled "Thought you heard me come in."

"No, I was having a vision. Sorry"

From the look on her face, something told me that it was about Bella. Her eyes were downcast and a saddened looks was all over her face.

"Yeah, about those, can we talk?"

Walking around the couch, I went and took a seat next to my sister.

"Alice, I…I know that you've been having visions about…"

My throat seemed to of closed up, as I tried to say her name. It had become a painful to even speak her name, is that what's happening here?

"About Bella?" Alice whispered

"Yes,"

Alice groaned "I'm so sorry, Edward. I know you told me to knot look for her, and I haven't. It's just really hard. It's like Bella is programmed into my mind.

"Alice, I'm not mad at you."

Her wide amber eyes looked to me "You're not?"

"No" I sighed "I shouldn't have asked you that, knowing that it was going to be hard. For that, I'm sorry." A pause "In fact, I want to know about them."

Alice seemed to hesitate, and averted her eyes from me, and down toward her laps.

"Edward, I…I don't think that's a good idea."

"Please," I begged "I need to know if I made the right choice."

Alice hesitated, before she nodded her head. The block she put on her mind lifted and ever image rushed toward me. I was glad that I was sitting beside her, because the force of every vision was enough to knock me on my feet.

All of the visions were of Bella. Imaged of Bella crying at night, screaming my name out. Her voice holding so much agony and hut, it ripped away at my dead heart.

"_No! Edward, please!_" She screamed

Next the images were of Bella weeks later. It was like she became a zombie. Moving around, but not talking, eating, and barely sleeping. Alice's mind went blank for a moment, before a different Bella appeared. She was thinner, and paler then usual. She looked tired and worn down. Alice's visions showed me how Bella was destroying her body with drugs and alcohol. Then, it was all gone as quickly as it came.

A strangled sob broke through my lips and my fingers gripped tightly on my hair. My Bella, my sweet Bella. I destroyed her, she was gone. Alice wrapped her arm around me, as another tearless sob ripped through me.

"Alice! What have I done!" I cried

"It's going to be ok, everything will be ok" Alice spoke

I knew Alice was only trying to comfort me. But everything was far from ok. Esme was right, I've done nothing but put Bella, and myself, through unnecessary torture.

* * *

><p>Later that night I was finally able to get a hold of myself. The image that Alice had shown me earlier was forever imbedded into my brain. Something to haunt me for the years to come. I wanted nothing more then to go to her. Beg for her to take me back to the end this pain. But even I knew that wouldn't be a wise decision.<p>

I sat alone up in my bedroom, listening to the music from my stereo. Hours before Jasper, Carlisle and Emmett left for a hunt. I, obviously, decided to not go. The only ones in the house were the females and I.

"Edward! Edward!"

Alice's terrified screams snapped me out of my mental monologue. Just as I stood from my bed, she came bursting through the door. Her face looked like she had just seen a ghost, or something. But it was much worse.

"Bella,"

Before I could ask what she was talking about, Alice instead showed me. It was of Bella, and she was crying hysterically. She sat on the edge of her bath tub, as water ran into it. At her feet was a bottle of wine, I watched in horror as she took a handful of sleeping pills and downed them with the wine.

"_It's not worth it anymore_," She cried "_The pain is too much,_"

It took me a second to see she was recording a suicide note, instead of writing it. Bella stood from the tub, and stripped down of all her clothing, then sunk into the bath water.

"_To my family, I'm so sorry. But I can no longer take this. Living a lie, and faking to be happy when I'm too miserable to even think. Please forgive me for what I've done." She cried "Jake, I'm sorry for the misery that I've put upon you, it was wrong of me to take advantage of your friendship."_

Bella sat up from her position, and turned off the already flooding water. Tears continued to run down her cheeks, as she tried to wipe them away from her face.

"_And Edward, I'm so sorry that I wasn't enough for you…I-I love you."_

Then the vision went black. I stood there before my sister in complete shock. Bella's going to kill herself, because of me.

"Edward…"

"When does this happen?"

"13 or so hours from now." Alice sighed "Edward we have to do something"

"I'm going to her. I will not loose my mate, not ever."

"I'll get the plans ready, and tell Esme of everything."

"No! I'm doing this alone."

"Edward, you made me leave my best friend, and I didn't say a damn thing about it. But do not ask me to let you leave alone to save her, when she needs me most."

* * *

><p>It took Alice and I fairly around an hour before we were packed. Light packing of course. Esme knew of our plans and the reason behind our sudden leave, and she would tell the others. Knowing a plane was going to take too long for my liking, I decided to drive back to Forks. I drove my Volvo down the back roads, exceeding beyond the speed limit.<p>

"Alice, what about now?"

Through the whole drive, I asked Alice to keep checking the vision. Hoping and praying that she would change her mind. I've never been much of a man of God, but I was talking to him more then I have for over a century.

"It's the same, Edward. Don't worry; we'll get to her in time." Alice spoke

"I can't be without her," I mumbled "She…she can't die."

"Bella won't. I promise, Edward."

I prayed to go that my sister was right. Bella will forever be the only thing that kept me on this earth. And without her there was no point of living. I thought I was protecting her from death, when all I did was lead her there once again.

**-please review-**

**Thank you so much for all of your reviews. I'm glad you like the story. And also, note that this shot about week in advance. When I update again, it'll go back a week – in Bella's POV**

**Tumblr: belle-charlie **


	6. Dark Paradise

**And there's no remedy for memory your face is  
>Like a melody, it won't leave my head<br>Your soul is haunting me and telling me  
>That everything is fine<br>But I wish I was dead  
>~<strong>Dark Paradise by Lana Del Rey

Cheated Myself

Chapter Six: Dark Paradise

Bella Swan – Fork, WA

_4 days prior…_

Jake's been ignoring me, he lied. He said he would give me some time. Well, that last about 3 days, instead of 6 months. I would try to call him, but would get sent to voicemail. No matter how hard I tried to tell myself that he was busy, or something, I knew that he was ignoring. The time had come, where Jacob was going to leave me. Just like everyone else. I spent those three days walking around my empty apartment having a pity party for one. Leah would try and get me to go out with her and the boys, but I just wasn't feeling it. I haven't heard from her in about a day and a half.

I was now alone. My mind was my worst enemy within these few days. Normal for people that's not too bad, but for me, it was like hell. All of the times I spent with him came back to me. His voice was ringing within' my mind that I could've sworn I heard him calling my name – and it sounded like it was coming from within' my apartment walls. Like how we spent our last night together, that was forever with me.

* * *

><p><em>-September 15, 2008-<em>

_ I was lying down in my bed reading Wuthering Heights for about the 100th time since I got the book. It has been about two days since the night of my birthday dinner with the Cullen's and I have yet to hear from Edward, or any of the Cullen's. I was almost tempted to drive by the house, but decided against it. I didn't know it would be appropriate since everything that happened with Jasper. I wanted to just hear Edward say that everything was going to be ok, that everything was fine, so that we could go back to normal._

_ A tapping noise on my window snapped me back to reality, and I looked toward the window to see Edward. A smile spread across my lips, and I nearly tripped as I raced to let him in. The window flew open, and Edward stepped into my bedroom. My arms wrapped around him, and I burned my face into his chest. The sweet, addictive, natural smell of my lover met my nostrils. Immediately, my worry from earlier dissipated._

"_Where have you been? I've been worried" I spoke_

"_Hunting with the guys,"_

_ Something in his voice was off. He didn't sound like my Edward. But I brushed it off, and sat beside him on my Queen sized bed. The moment I sat down, Edward wrapped a arm around my waist, and pulled me onto his lap. He buried his head into the crook of my neck, and ran his nose along the vein in my neck. I knew that Edward would never hurt me, even though my blood called to him like a seductive siren. I trusted Edward more then anyone._

"_How is Jasper?" I asked softly "I've wanted to talk to him, and tell him that I don't blame him for what happened."_

"_He's still with everyone on the hunting trip. I came back early to see you," Edward looked up at me, "I've missed you, love."_

"_I've missed you, too" I smiled_

_ Edward pulled me closer to him, and kissed me eagerly on the lips. I was a little taken back from the need, want and love that I felt in the kiss. It was like he was desperate, to let me know that he loved me. Like always, my arms wrapped around his neck, and my fingers weaved their way into his hair. Pulling tightly on the hairs on the back of his neck._

_ In a matter of seconds, Edward had me on my back, with him hovering over me. Our lips never leaving each other's, and hands never leaving each other's bodies. We have never gone this far. I mean, we made out all the time, but Edward always stopped it before it got too heated. But by no means was I going to stop it._

_ A small gasp left my lips as I felt his cold hands go underneath my tank top, and teased my nipple slightly. Edward settled between my lips, and pulled me closer to him. A gasp/moan was the next to leave my lips as I felt his arousal pressed against me. Edward pulled away from my lips and looked down at me with so much intensity, it sent a shiver through my whole body._

"_I love you, Isabella." He spoke softly._

_ Isabella? He never called me that. That right there shouldn't been the warning that something was wrong, but once again, I brushed it off. _

"_I love you too, Edward"_

_ His lips reconnected to mine, and using his vampire speed, I laid below him in only my boy shorts. I knew where tonight would lead, and I was 100% ok with it. I've wanted to take our relationship to the more intimate level for a while now, but Edward always denied it. But tonight, I was going to get my wish, and I didn't have to ask. _

_ Reaching up, I began to unbutton his shirt, and tear it from his body. Edward got what I was trying to do, and pulled away to take his clothes off. In a matter of seconds, he laid beside me in his boxer shorts. My breath was slightly labored from our kiss, as I turned on my side, and faced him. My eyes feel to his hard, muscle defined chest. My fingers reached forward and ran along every defined line of his abs. Skin hard as granite, and cold as ice. It was beautiful to me. _

_ Leaning forward, I kissed the place over his unbeaten heart. Edward growled lightly within his chest as I made my way up his chest, and toward his lips once more. When I looked toward him, I saw that his eyes were tightly shut._

"_Edward? We don't have to do anything…" I blushed slightly_

"_No, my love, I-I…just don't have to hurt you…" _

_ His eyes opened and I was able to see all of the worry behind them. A smile slightly, and then pecked him on the lips. I was a little scared of what was to come, since I have never done this before. The closest I get to having sex, or anything related to it, was when I touched myself to the thoughts and fantasies I have of Edward. Now, it was coming true._

"_Edward, please,"_

_ I felt Edward's cold touch on my waist, as he peeled away my boy shorts, then his boxers. My breath caught in my throat as my eyes fell upon his member. Saying Edward was large, would be the understatement of the year. I felt him touch my chin lightly, causing me to look up toward him._

"_Don't worry; I'll go slow, my love"_

_I nodded my head "I trust you,"_

_ The corners of his lips turned up into my favorite crooked smile, as he laid me back, and settled back between my legs. I looked up toward him, and gently caressed his cheek, before pulling him down into a kiss. My cry of pain was muffled by his lips, as Edward slowly thrust into me. I felt him stiffen above me, and growl lowly within his throat._

"_Oh, Bella, oh, god…" He moaned_

_ Another cry left my lips, as the pain started to slowly subside. It wasn't as bad as I was told by my girlfriends, but with Edward's size, it was a little uncomfortable. He paused and waited for me to tell him when to move. It took another minute or so, before I told him to move. _

_ Just like he promised, Edward took his time, and moved slowly within in me. Most of my cries were muffled by his lips, so that we wouldn't wake Charlie, who was only down the hall. Edward dug his head into the crook my neck, and kissed along my neck, as his thrusts became harder and faster. _

"_Edward…Edward…please…" I whimpered_

_ He grabbed my hips, and thrust into me harder then before. His growls turning me on even more. Edward's hand came up to my mouth, and muffled my scream as I hit my orgasm. He continued to move within' me, as I rode out my orgasm, and felt him reach his. Leading into a second one for me. It felt so good to feel his cold seed within' my hot core. It made my toes curl, and eyes roll back into my head. _

_ But what happened next were both erotic and a complete surprise. I heard the click of Edward's fangs descend, and then the tear of them sinking into my left breast. I moaned, still having Edward's hand pressed against my lip, as he drank from me._

* * *

><p>Edward didn't stay with me long after we made love. He explained that when mates had sex, the male usually drank from the female. I wasn't mad at him, it was actually beautiful. I shared myself with Edward in a different way. He left me that night with his amber eyes having flicks of red in them. He kissed me passionately on the lips, before ducking back out of my window. I stood in the window, wrapped in my sheet, and watched as he ran toward the forest line. Little did I know what would be the last I shared anything with Edward.<p>

I still had the scar from that night. Two small fang marks right underneath my left breast. It looked like two freckles, but I knew better. It was Edward's mate mark. A mark he left, but didn't mean.

_2 days prior…_

Ok, this is getting ridiculous, I think everyone was ignoring me know. Leah, Jacob and everyone else was ignoring my calls and text. I didn't know what the fuck was going on. This is starting to drive me insane.

_Day of the vision…_

That was it, I'm not taking anyone's shit anymore. I'm not going to fucking shit around and wait for them to come to me. That's some weak bullshit right now, I'm going to them. Well, Charlie. I'm not going to La Push, but maybe Charlie could tell me what the fuck is going on. I pulled my truck into my father's drive way, and saw that he was in fact home. Once my car was parked, I made my way up the front door, and just walked inside.

"Charlie! Dad?" I called out.

"In the living room, Bells."

Just like always, my father was sitting in his favorite lazy-boy with ESPN on his flat screen, and beer in hand. He must've just gotten off of work, since he was still in uniform.

"Where the fuck is everyone?" I asked

"What do you mean?"

"Jake and everyone aren't replying to any of my phone calls and texts." I explained "Do you know what the fuck is going on?"

"Last I checked, they are still down at La Push. Maybe they are busy, Bells. Not everyone is going to stop to tend to you."

I paused "What's that supposed to mean?"

Charlie sighed, "You expect to come to you once you call, Bella. Not everything revolves around you."

"I don't expect that" I argued

"Yes, yes you do." He snapped back "Ever since Edward left, you've become more demanding, like we are to cater to you. The world doesn't work like that, Bella. People have lives outside of you."

I stumbled back from my father's words. He actually said his name. _Why, why Charlie_?

"I don't…think that…dad" I spoke, feeling defeated

"Well, you sure enough act like it, Bells. You need to get your act together, because we can only put up with so fucking much we are done with it. I'm sick and tied of making excuses for your behavior. You're turning into your mother, and I don't like it. Get your shit together, and grow the fuck up."

"I am nothing, like my mother. Do you dare say that to me, Charlie"

"Really? You aren't destroying yourself like Renee did? You are killing yourself, Bella." Charlie said, as he rose from his seat. "Now, get out, I'm done with this conversation."

I backed out of the room, completely in shock, and walked back out of his home. Charlie _never_ spoke to me like that. As I slowly walked down the steps, I grabbed my cell phone once again, and dialed Jake's number. It rang twice, before someone picked up.

"Hello?"

Just as I got to my truck, I stopped dead in my tracks. It was a female. Her voice was high, squeaky, and annoying.

"Um…hello? Is…is Jake there?" I asked

"Oh, yeah." A paused, and then from the background I heard "Jake, baby, phone!"

It took about a minute or so, before I heard Jake take the phone from the bitch. I didn't even know who the fuck this girl was, and she was already a bitch. _She better back off, Jake was mine_!

"Hello?" Jake's gruff voice spoke

"What the fuck, Jacob. You ditch me for four days, and then when your phone finally does get picked up, some whore answers it. Please tell me what the fuck is going on?"

He sighed "This wasn't supposed to happen…"

"What! What wasn't supposed to happen?" I yelled

"Bella, I'm done with this bullshit relationship that you and I have created." He started "I mean, we can still be friends, but the benefits are done. I'm not going to sit around and wait for you – when we both know it's not going to fucking happen."

Tears came to eyes, as I leaned against my truck, and let his words sink in. He was fucking dumping me. I was getting dumped by my best friend.

"Jake, I'm sorry. I know I'm a poor excuse of a friend, but you…you can't do this." I cried "Please, I need you."

"I'm going to need time, Bella. I'm sorry, this – this wasn't supposed to happen like this."

"Jake –."

But the phone line was cut. It was official, I was now alone. Jake, Renee, Charlie, and Edward – they all left me. I couldn't handle this, this was too much. With tears in my eyes, I got into my truck, and pulled out of Charlie's driveway. Luckily, I made it home safely. Running up the stairs toward my apartment, I opened the door, and slammed it shut behind me. The large hole within my chest was now ripped open, and the pain was becoming too much.

"Oh, god" I cried.

I wanted it to stop, and to end. For every single painful thing in my memory to be gone. Renee's death, Charlie and I never being close, Jake and I ever moving on beyond friends, and Edward. I wanted every fucking memory of Edward to be gone and dead.

Walking into my bedroom, I collapsed onto my bed and let the cries and sobs over take my body. I don't know how long I laid there for, but, when my eyes opened again, it was night. My head was booming with a headache and my eyes burned from crying.

"I need a fucking drink." I whispered to myself.

Getting up from my bed, and trudging it toward the kitchen, I grabbed the vodka bottle from the freezer. Grabbing the one clean glass out of the cabinet, I sank down onto the floor, and poured myself as drink. As I took my first sip, I groaned in satisfaction, as it burned down my sore throat. Sitting there in the silence and dark was more depressing then any day in my past.

Since last year the same thoughts seemed to enter my thoughts. The thoughts of suicide and dying. What would happen if I ever went through with it? Would people care? Or would they not give a fuck, and just dump my body away? Or, would I never be found?

As I sat there, tear stains on my cheeks; I thought more and more of it. I wanted to do it. It was the only way this was ever going to end. I knew that when I woke up tomorrow, it was going to be worse. I didn't want that, or to feel that. It was final. I was going to end it.

Stumbling as I stood from the kitchen floor, I grabbed the vodka bottle and made my way into my bathroom. Turning on the light, I flinched back slightly from the bright light over the vanity. As my eyes adjusted, reaching into the cabinet, I grabbed my sleeping meds. Charlie had some fucking doctor put me on them since I didn't sleep much for the first three months after Edward left. Nightmares and such. I didn't use them much now, but tonight was going to be the last night I ever do.

I wanted the setting to be perfect, and that meant, I needed a fucking letter. But I wasn't in the mood to write it. So, walking back into my bedroom, I grabbed the recorder I had stowed away from high school. My footsteps were a little shaky as I walked back into the bathroom. After turning on the water in the bathroom, I pressed record on the recorder, and set it on the toilet beside the tub. After taking a deep breath, the words started the flow, along with more tears.

"It's not worth it anymore, the pain is too much," I cried "Everything has to end, and I've decided to end it myself."

Grabbing the bottle from my feet, I took the pills, and downed it with the vodka. I nearly chocked on the amount of pills, but it all went down eventually. _No going back now_. Standing up from the lip of the tub, I stripped down all of my clothing, and threw it to the other side of the room. The water was warm as I stepped in, and sank down to sit. Some of the water splashed onto the floor.

"To my family, I'm so sorry. But I can no longer take this. Living a lie, and faking to be happy when I'm too miserable to even think. Please forgive me for what I've done." She cried "Jake, I'm sorry for the misery that I've put upon you, it was wrong of me to take advantage of your friendship."

As I spoke, I wiped some of the stray tears away from my face, and turned off the water. Already, I could feel the sleeping pills kick in. Everything was starting to get fuzzy, and my mind was getting a little hazy.

"And Edward, I'm so sorry that I wasn't enough for you…I-I love you."

**-Please Review-**

**Charlie's Note: Extra long, and another update later on tonight. I hope, depends on if I have the time. Thanks for all of the reads, reviews, and alerts. They make my day**

Tumblr: belle-charlie


	7. Save Me

**And the arms of the ocean  
>So sweet and so cold<br>And all this devotion I never knew at all  
>In the crushes of heaven for a sinner released<br>But the arms of the ocean delivered me  
>Never let me go<strong>

~ Never Let Me Go by Florence + the Machine

Cheated Myself

Chapter Seven: Save Me

Edward Cullen – Forks, WA

The moment Alice and I passed the city lines of Forks, WA – I exceeded the speed limit farther then before. We were close to her, and my body knew it. The monster with in my growled with satisfaction, because he knew that our mate was close. She needs me. _God, don't let me be too late_.

"Edward, we have about ten minutes till its too late," Alice spoke "She lives in a apartment building just three blocks down, take a left."

Once I got to the corner, I turned toward the apartment that Alice spoke of. The first thing I feel upon were rundown apartment building that looked like no has done maintained in years. It was like the skid row of Forks, WA. Bella didn't belong here. Why wasn't she with Charlie?

"Which one?" I spoke, as I got out of my car

"Building C, apartment 275"

I didn't care if a human would see me or not, Bella was my main focus at the moment. I was at her front door in less then two minutes, Alice close behind me. Reaching for the door know, only to find that it was locked. Not even second guessing it, I crushed the lock in my hands, and threw her door open.

"Bella! Bella!"

"Check the bathroom,"

I maneuvered myself around her disastrous living room, and down the hallway to her bedroom. Everything was a mess. Clothes were thrown all over the place, empty beer bottle, and others, all on the table. She was living in a fucking trash dump. When I opened the bathroom door, I saw that Bella had already sunk under the water.

I rushed to kneel beside the edge of the tub, and ripped her from the water. Normally, Bella felt like nothing. But at the sight of her naked body, I truly got to see how emaciated she was. I could hear her heart, but it was faint, and the beat was off.

"No, no…" I pleaded "Come on, Bella. Stay with me. Please…please..."

I grabbed her and picked her up off the floor, and carried her into the bedroom. Yelling out Alice's name as I laid her down on the bed. Soon enough, I heard her footsteps behind me.

"Oh, my god."

"Call Carlisle," I rushed out "Tell him Bella took vodka and sleeping pills, what should I do?"

Before I was even done with the sentence, Alice already had her phone to her ear and was talking to Carlisle. I grabbed Bella's blanket and threw it over her naked body. Climbing up on top of her bed, and shoved my fingers down her throat. Bella started to convulse, and groaned, soon leaning to the side and started to throw up. Her body shook violently and continued to throw up the contents in her stomach.

"Carlisle said our blood should heal her enough." Alice spoke from my right.

Bella rolled onto her back and let out a gasp. Her lungs filling with air, and her heart returning to a normal heart beat. Truthfully, I didn't want to involve anyone into Bella's overdose/suicide attempt. The blood of vampires could heal any human wound, so I trusted Carlisle. Bella's eyes glazed over, and once again, she began to convulse.

"Bella, love, please…" I gently grabbed her face "Stay with me! Bella!"

I watched in horror as her eyes rolled to the back of her head, and her heart beat started to go down again. Raising my wrist to my lips, I ripped the skin apart with my fangs. Blood poured from it, as I shoved it into Bella's mouth. She groaned, her body tense at first, before she relaxed and fed eagerly from me.

My senses told me that Bella and I were alone now. My body instantly reacted to Bella's feeding. Bella's small, warm hand wrapped around my wrist and pulled it closer to her lips. Her heart beat became erratic, but with arousal and excitement. Her mate was reacting to my blood. It has been too long.

A moan escaped my mouth as I felt her tongue lick across the wound, and pull away. Her eyes softly closed, and a sigh passed her lips. The color began to return to her cheeks, and the grayness began to leave her skin.

"Edward,"

She spoke my name with a whisper and fell into a deep sleep. Already, I knew my blood was taking effect and healing her body. I brushed the hair from her face and kissed her forehead softly. For a moment I just laid there with her, and caressed her cheek softly. The tense anxiety that I've felt, on whether I would get to her in time or not, left my body. Not to mention the burning need within my chest had dulled and died out. I was with Bella now, and everything was right.

"I'll never leave you again," I declared to her sleeping form "I'll never do that to you again."

* * *

><p>"I can't believe that she's been living in this shit hole."<p>

I had left Bella alone in her bed, about fifteen minutes ago, to find Alice going through Bella's things. Or lack there of. I wouldn't even call this a home. In her living room was one lone couch, and a TV sitting on a milk crate. From where I was standing, she has no dining room table. Just a breakfast bench with a shitty excuse of a bar stool. Walking into her kitchen, I opened the cabinets, to see sparse amounts of food. Most in cans, or alcohol. Inside her fridge was a half carton of milk, eggs, and moldy bread. _She was living in a shit hole_.

"We have to clean this up for her." Alice spoke "First, I'm getting her some food. You stay here and clean this shit up, yeah?"

"Yeah."

I walked back into the living room, and watched as Alice left the apartment building. The door bounced twice against the frame, since I had broken the lock before. The only rooms that Bella's apartment had were her bedroom, and one bath. There was a hall closet beside her bedroom door. But this place could be no bigger then out kitchen and dining room at our home.

From her bedroom, Bella let out a soft whimper. Walking to the door way, I watched as she curled herself into a tight ball. My heart broke further, as I began to see the damage I put her in.

After watching her for a moment or so, and seeing that she was alright, I began to pick up around her home. If that is what I truly was. Alice turned just as I was getting the kitchen finished up. In her hands were bags and bags of groceries for Bella.

"This place is starting to look better,"

"Should I be here, when she wakes?" I whispered, as I watched my sister unpack the food. "Would it be…good to be here."

"I don't know. Too close to tell, even for me. But, either way, it's going to be bad. Bella is…unhealthy and someone completely different now, Edward. You have to proper yourself for the worst."

"I know."

"I don't think you do. You created this mess be prepared to fix it."

* * *

><p>Night was falling and Bella still hadn't woken up from earlier. I was starting to get worried. If it wasn't for hearing her heart beat steady and normal, I would've thought she was dead. She still lay in a tight ball in the middle of the bed. Alice had cleaned up the rest of Bella's apartment, and was now dressing her. She insisted that I sit on the couch and wait. Doesn't matter, I already knew what she looked like naked.<p>

Something sitting beside her couch had caught my eyes as I was sitting there. Reaching down and picking it up, I saw that it was album. Once I opened it, my eyes were greeted to photos of a younger Bella. A smile graced my lips as I looked through it – gradually seeing Bella through her years. About a little more then halfway through, photos of Bella and I started to show. It surprised me that she had thrown them out or something. Not to mention when I left, I thought I had gotten them all. But I missed four. Silently, I cursed myself.

"Edward?"

Turning toward the bedroom door, I saw that Alice was standing in the door way of the bedroom. A soft smile on her lips.

"She'll be up soon. I give it about, five minutes,"

"Thank you,"

"I'm going to leave, give you two some privacy. But, Edward, be gentle with her. You messed her up pretty badly; she's not the Bella that you left behind."

**-please review-**

**Charlie's Note: What are your thoughts? Do you think its too much? Not enough? Tell me truly. What do you think is going to happen next?**

Tumblr: belle-charlie


	8. Dream Like

**Life goes on  
>It gets so heavy<br>The wheel breaks the butterfly  
>Every tear, a waterfall<br>In the night, the stormy night  
>She closed her eyes<br>In the night, the stormy night  
>Away she'd fly.<strong>

~ Paradise by Coldplay

Cheated Myself

Chapter Eight: Dream Like

Bella Swan – Forks, WA

Is this what death felt like? Peaceful, no pain. I felt my body go under the water, so I had to be dead. Right? I'm imagining this is what death was like. When I opened my eyes, I looked up toward a clear blue sky. The sun was beating down on my skin, and I could feel its warmth. Looking to my left, and right, I saw that I was surrounded by woods. This place felt and looked familiar.

Slowly sitting up from lying down, I saw that I was wearing a white dress, with bare feet. My hair cascaded down my shoulders. Looking around more, I saw that I was in Edward's meadow. Well, our meadow. He took me here when we went on our walk back on my first day of high school.

Everything was just like I remembered. The meadow was in full bloom with white and purple flowers. The opening of the trees let the sun beat down bright on the grass and flowers. A few yards away was the river, and I could hear it perfectly from where I was.

"Bella?"

Quickly snapping my head to the left, I saw Edward. He stood at the forest line watching me. He wore a simple pair of jeans, and no shirt. His hard marble chest out for my eyes to see. My favorite crooked smile graced his lips, and his bronze hair was disheveled as usual. Taking a hesitant step, Edward began to walk toward me. I stumbled to my feet, and stood, waiting for him. The moment he reached me, my hand reached up and rested on his chest. The humming vibration shot through me, the moment we touched.

The weirdest thing was, in my heaven, all of my anger dissipated the moment we touched. His hand caressed my cheek softly, before moving some hair from my face.

"You're here," I whispered, touching his face lightly "You're really here."

"Don't cry for me love," Edward spoke, lightly wiping away my tears "I don't deserve your tears."

"I've just missed you so much."

I took one step forward, and wrapped my arms around his waist, and held him close. I felt him hug me back, and run his fingers through the ends of my hair.

"I'm here for you, Bella. I'm here"

Our foreheads pressed against each other as we gazed into each other's eyes. His hands ghosted down my back, mine doing the same. We moved to lay back down in the meadow, and I stayed at his side. He held me the entire time. The sun beating down on his skin, making in shine. Hard as, and shines like, a diamond.

* * *

><p>I closed my eyes during my heavenly stay with Edward. Every sound was shut off, and everything else started to fade. The cold feeling of being molded to Edward's side started to disappear. My senses started to return to me, and I could already tell that my heaven was nothing but a dream. I wasn't with Edward back at our meadow. I was in my bed, but the feeling against my naked skin.<p>

Who saved me? Jake, Leah, Charlie? Or did by some unknown force, did I get up from the tub, and sleep walk from my bed? That was highly unlikely. My body started to lose all of the tense feeling I felt in my muscles, as I stretched. The blanket around my coming undone.

My throat burned, like acid had been dumped down it by force. My stomach felt completely empty, and ached also. _What the fuck happened_? I let out a loud groan as I sat up, and my back muscles started to protest with the movement. My slightly damp hair was smushed against my neck, and every bone in my body felt like it was on the brink of breaking. Also, my lungs felt like they were on fire. That burning feeling you get when you're underwater too long, and they don't have any oxygen. That ache lingered in my lungs.

"Oh, fuck."

I cursed lowly, and pushed some hair from my face. My back was facing the doorway, but I could feel someone watching over me. My back muscles froze, and my hair stood up on end. The humming vibration was low, and barely noticeable, but it was there. My body only reacted this way for one person. One person who held my heart and then destroyed it.

"Please…please…" I whispered, tears coming to my eyes.

"Bella,"

I took a sharp intake of breath, and closed my eyes tightly. My heart stopped short, and felt like a python was slowly squeezing it to death. The tears came faster, and could feel them falling down my cheeks. His rushed footsteps met my ears, and I could feel him touch my knees lightly. But I didn't dare open my eyes. I couldn't, I wouldn't look at him. The anger over the last year started to bubble deep within' me, and it was just ready to explode.

"Bella? Are you hurt?" His voice was panicked "Do you need anything? More blood?"

That was it. The key to unlock all of my emotions. My eyes snapped open, and I looked down him with shock and anger. Now even anger. I was morally pissed off, and ready to stake him. I jumped back away from him, nearly flying across the room. The blanket was clasped tightly around my body, to ensure that I wouldn't fall, and reveal everything to him.

"What did you just say to me?"

My voice was hard, and held so much venom. Edward's face was blank as he stood up from the floor, and faced me fully. His hands dug into his jean pockets, and his black eyes stared back at me.

"Did you give me your blood?" I asked

"I-I did." Edward confirmed "Alice and I found you. You were on the brink of death, I wasn't going to let that happen, so I fed you my blood."

I looked around for something to throw at him. Bending down, I grabbed a show. With all of my strength, I chucked it at him. His ducked out of the way, and that only angered me more.

"How dare you! How dare you come here, and share your blood with me! What the hell is your fucking problem! What? Was leaving not enough? You had to take the one decision I've made for myself away from me? I wanted to die you dumb ass! I wanted that! You took that from me!" I screamed

My raw throat started to feel like someone was pressing a shredder against it, and it was extremely painful. But I didn't care. He was here, and he hurt me. My heart was pounding loudly, and hard against my chest, I would hear the blood in my ears. Edward looked toward me, his eyes sad and defeated. Also, he was looking at me like he did all those months ago. With love and devotion, it made me angrier.

"You didn't want to die, Bella. I know that"

"Yes, I did" I growled "It was the only thing to stop this pain, and you've only brought more with coming here and stopping me."

"Bella, please"

He stepped toward me, but I walked around and away from him.

"Don't you dare fucking touch me. I hate you. Get out!"

"I'm not leaving you, Bella" He spoke firmly

"Get. Out!" I screamed

"No."

"HOW….HOW DARE YOU!"

I turned on my heels and walked out of the bedroom. My knees were weak, and could barely hold me up, but I needed something. I ran into my kitchen, looking for a weapon. Opening a drawer, I grabbed the cutting knife. Edward was coming up behind me, I could feel and hear him.

"Bella, please."

His hands reached out and touched my arms, and my reaction was a little drastic, but I don't regret it. I turned around and brought the knife up, cutting him across the forearm. The sound of his shirt being sliced could be heard, along with the kiss Edward made. His jumped back away from me, and I watched a blood pooled to the surface of his skin. _Yeah, 100% silver_. Silver being the only thing to pierce a vampire's skin.

"I told you to not _fucking_ touch me." I hissed

"Bella, you need to calm down." Edward spoke, his voice steady, and calming "Just…put the knife down."

"Not till you get out. Get the fuck out of my house. Now!"

"No, Bella. I'm not leaving you. I did that before, and I promised you…to never do that again."

I paused, and looked up toward him "When? You only promised me, that you would never come back. You already broke that one."

In the blink of an eye, the knife was out of my hand, and clinked to the floor. I let out an angry cry, my reaction to Edward pulling it from my hands. Taking a step forward, I made the effort to try and get it again, but Edward pulled me back. My back slammed against his cold hard chest, his arms around my waist, holding me tightly in his arms. Hot, angry tears ran down my cheeks as I tried to get out of his grasp. But Edward wasn't letting go.

"I promised you, Bella. I promised you." He whispered

"Liar! Liar! Liar!" I cried "Stop. Please…let me go…"

"No, I'm not leaving you."

"You did it before! Leave me! Leave me like I'm nothing."

"You are everything, everything to me." Edward shushed in my ear.

"Liar…you're a liar…"

"The only lie I ever told you, was that I didn't love you."

I fell limp in his arms, and let him hold me as I cried. I knew it was worthless to fight him. He had 1,000xs more strength them me. Edward sat us in the kitchen floor, and my head fell on his shoulder and buried into his neck. I didn't stop crying. But I let him hold me. But in no way was Edward Cullen forgiven.

**-Please Review-**

**Charlie's Note: Thanks so much for the reviews. I do take everything you guys say to me to consideration. Like with this, you all predicted Bella was going to be angry. Other's thought was going to think Edward wasn't really there. So, most of you were right. Edward and Bella are together – but not also. They have a lot to get through. **

**What do you think? How do you think this is going to go? Do you like the song selections?**

**And another thing that was brought to my attention was how I am portraying the vampires. Thought I love SM, I hater her versions of vampire. They sound like pussies. So, I'm going with the Ann Rice/True Blood/Vampire Diaries approach. Cause that sounds like a vampire to me.**

**So my vamps have fangs. They have blood, because when they drink it, where the fuck does it go? They don't use the bathroom. So it just its there. Also, they do sparkle, but that's the only SM thing they have. My vampires are cold, and don't have venom. For a human to become a immortal, they must die with vamp blood in their system. Venom makes them sounds like snakes. I hate that.**

**If you don't like it, and I know some of you don't, but this is my fic. Though I do wanna please my readers, gotta please myself also. Hope that isn't a problem or something.**

**Also, remember, no werewolves. Jake is human. **

Tumblr: belle-charlie


	9. Hide The Pain

**What kind of fuckery are we?  
>Nowadays you don't mean dick to me (dick to me)<br>I might let you make it up to me (make it up)  
>Who's playing Saturday? <strong>

~ Me & Mr. Jones by Amy Winehouse

Cheated Myself

Chapter Nine: Hide the Pain

Bella Swan – Forks, WA

I can't fucking believe that he came back. After everything he put me through, and then more, he had the balls to come back to me. Not even mentioning he took another thing away from me. The decision to end my life. That was me, for the first time in a long while, that I did something for myself. Like him leaving, that wasn't for me – it was for him. He did that, I had no fucking say in the whole thing. I resented and hated him for that, always will. The only reason I even continued living after Edward left me, was for Renee and Charlie. But then Renee died, and it was only for Charlie. But the moment I decided to end the pain in my empty chest, Edward shows his ass once more.

He was sitting in my living room, while I stayed locked up in my bedroom. I wasn't ready to face him ever again. I refused to come out till he left again. I didn't want him here. _Yes, you do_. Fuck, even my brain was starting to agree with my heart. My heart was overjoyed to see Edward, but I knew better. My heart needed to shut the fuck up.

"Bella, please, come out"

Edward was begging outside my door, asking me to come back out. I didn't get it. He could come in here, and force me out. But he stayed on the other side of the door, and I was thankful. God only knows what I would do to him. I've already cut him with a kitchen knife.

"Go away, Edward."

Reaching into my side drawer, I grabbed my bag of joints and my lighters. Sticking the joint between my lips, I lit it, and took a few puffs, before falling back into my bed. I stared at my ceiling, and watched as the smoke swirled through the air. After a night like last night, and this morning, I needed some fucking relaxation.

From beyond the door, I heard my front door open and close. _Did he leave_? My small amount of hope died when I heard the one voice I've been dying to hear for months now. My best friend, Alice Cullen.

"Did she wake like I said?" Alice asked

"Yes, and she didn't react very well, like you said. She cut me with a silver knife, and nearly ripped my head off." Edward spoke, sadness evident in his voice.

"Is she in her room?"

There wasn't an answer, but moments later, I heard a knock on my bedroom door. I knew that it had to be Alice. Walking over to my window, to open it, so that the smoke and smell would exit. Then, opened the door for Alice. I didn't look up towards her, but watched as her feet walked into the room. Once I knew that she was inside, I slammed the bedroom door once more and locked it.

"See that you didn't hesitate to get back into your old ways." Alice spoke

"Under the circumstances, I think you can let it go."

Finally I looked up toward Alice and could see the disappointment in her topez eyes. Her arms were crossed at her chest, and she stood before me like she just stepped off the runway. Alice and her fashion, no matter what, always on point. Out of everything that has happened, I wasn't mad at Alice. No matter what, I couldn't be mad at her.

"I'm guessing you are the reason I am still alive today?" I asked

Alice nodded "I saw it the night you decided."

"Have you seen…_everything_?" I hesitated to ask.

"I have, but I'm not going to lecture you on it Bella. Because to me, this is Edwards fault for pushing you to that point. But I'm mad at you also."

I nodded my head, and could feel the tears coming back. She was here. My best friend, some one I've been wanting back for a year now. Taking a few steps forward, I wrapped my arms around her tiny frame, and held her close. A sob ripped through my body, as I felt her wrap her arms around myself.

"I've missed you so fucking much, Alice." I cried into her shoulder "You had no idea. I've needed you, and you weren't here to help me."

"I know…I know…I'm so sorry" She shushed in my ear. "But I'm here now,"

I squeezed her tighter, knowing that it wouldn't hurt her. I clung to her and didn't want to let her go. We stayed there for a moment, before I was able to catch my breath and wipe away the tears from my cheeks.

"Are you ok now?" Alice asked with a hushed tone.

"I will be. Thank you." I smiled

"Bella, we need to talk…about why."

I sighed "You know why, Alice."

Turning to my side, I took a seat on my bed and Alice sat down beside me. I ran my fingers through my hair, to remove it out of my sight.

"But, that couldn't be the only thing." Alice paused "What happened?"

"Everything." I sighed "Everything happened. It was events falling into place leading up to that. I knew it was going to happen eventually, but not knowing when."

"What happened, Bella"

"It started with you guys leaving. I came here not knowing anyone, and immediately, you guys became my family. Being vampires or not, I didn't belong with anyone else but you. Edward was everything to me. I was willing to die for him, over and over, but that didn't seem to mean a damn thing to him.

"And then, three months later, Charlie and I found out that Renee had lung cancer. All that smoking came back to bite her in the ass. She was in the final stage, and it wasn't caught in time. Renee didn't want to go through chemo, knowing that it wasn't going to do a thing. So she lived for only an extra six months, before she died."

"Bella, I'm so sorry…I-I didn't know." Alice spoke with sympathy in her voice.

"How could you?" I snapped "You left. Then after Renee died, Charlie went under for a while. He was depressed for a while, causing me to go deeper into mine. I walked around high school like a fucking zombie. Barely being able to graduate from Forks High. But, after a while, I just started not giving a fuck. I met Jacob and Leah, and they helped hide the pain."

"So you dug all you pain into a hole, and covered it up with drugs?"

"And alcohol and sex. I didn't care; I still don't give a fuck."

"Bella, why would you cause yourself such harm? I get it, that you were depressed, but you go to therapy and get over it."

"Get over it?" I scuffed "You go a year without anyone, not even Jasper, and you tell me if you can get over it."

Alice paused for a while "Ok, I can see your point."

"I just want everything to go away, and go back to normal. But I know that's not going to happen."

Alice wrapped her arms around my shoulder, and pulled me closer to her side. We sat there together in silence.

"Are you going to talk to him?"

"Not at the moment. I could don't give a fuck about Edward Cullen,"

"He can hear you. He hasn't left." Alice pointed out.

"Good. I'm glad he can hear me. He needs to know that fuckery he's left behind because he's made decisions for people."

**- Please Review –**

**Charlie's Note: **Thank you all for the reviews, and have patience with me during my move. Comcast was being a dick, and wouldn't come and hook up our cable & internet, so I went till Monday with out it. Not to mention I have a job now, so…I'm busy as fuck. Hope you enjoyed this. Thank you all for saying you like the songs, and my versions of vampires. More to come soon, also…if you like HSM – I have a new fic coming out for that fandom.

**Tumblr: belle-charlie**


	10. Facing You

**and even if I'm there, they'll all imply **

**that I might not last theday  
>and then you call me and it's not so bad<br>it's not so bad and**

~ Thank You by Dido

Cheated Myself

Chapter Ten: Facing You

Edward Cullen – Forks, WA

Hearing how Bella truly felt about me broke me even more. She truly hated me. At least that's what she spoke of. Another part of me believed she was lying. No matter what, mates were never broke. It's a love no one truly understood. But I've put her through so much, with no intention of doing so. It was a domino effect from the moment I left her. Renee died and I wasn't here for her, something else for me to hate myself for.

It sort of pissed me off that Bella allowed Alice inside, and not me. I wanted to speak to her. Have her understand the reasons why I left. After a long moment of silence, I heard her bedroom door open and close once more. Looking over the back of the couch, I saw Alice. She let out a heavy sigh and gave me a sympathetic look.

"She's asleep." Alice spoke "And boy did you dig yourself a deep hole."

"How do I fix it?"

"Leave. Being here isn't going to help anyone. Come on, let's go back to the house and give her some space."

"I'm not leaving her," I declared

"Didn't you hear her? Bella doesn't want you here. Give her some time."

I knew that Alice was right. But couldn't bring myself to leaving her.

"Edward, I will force you out."

"Ok, but I'm coming back later."

Standing from the couch, I grabbed my jacket to leave. Just as we were about to reach the door, there was a knock on Bella's apartment door. But since the doorknob and lock were broken, the door opened slightly. Alice and I both snapped, and looked toward the door to see who was here. Their thoughts were jumbled and I could barely make anything out.

A tan hand pushed on the door, causing it to swing open a little further. Before the two of us stood a man that looked about mid-twenties. He was almost as tall as me and muscles straining against his clothes. He looked around the room in confusion, before his dark eyes landed on Alice and myself.

"Who the fuck are you?" He asked, his voice deep and gruff.

"I'm Alice, and this is my brother, Edward. Who are you?" Alice spoke

His stern look faltered when they landed on Alice, "I'm Jake. A friend of Bella's."

"Jake, yes, Bella's told me about you." Alice smile politely.

I didn't pay attention to their conversation, and dug deep within' his thoughts. I wanted to know what the hell he and Bella did. Because something about his was off. I didn't trust him with Bella. Soon, my mind was filled with images of Jake and Bella together. Some of the images were intimate, and wished to have never seen them. A growl erupted from deep within in my chest, and I could feel my fangs pushing through.

The monster deep within me wanted nothing more then to rip him apart. He's touched my mate. No one was to be with her, but me. I made sure of it the moment I marked her the night we spent together.

"Dude, what the fuck is your problem?" Jacob asked

"Edward, calm down." Alice whispered harshly "Where is Bella?"

"She's asleep in her room. So, you should leave." I spat.

"I'm not leaving till I see Bella."

Jacob walked around us both and headed toward Bella's bedroom. Just before I could reach out and grab him, Alice stopped me. She grabbed tightly onto my bicep and pulled me out of Bella's apartment. I tried fighting against her, but she over powered me. _Damn her, for being older_. I wanted to kill him. He touched my mate. I wasn't thinking logically, I wanted to kill Jake.

"Edward, stop it." Alice spoke urgently "

"He's been with her, Alice. He's touched Bella." I growled

"I know. I know" She paused "But killing him isn't going to make anything better."

I let out another growl, in defeat, and turned away from Bella's apartment. Not caring if anyone would see me, I ran as fast as my legs could lead me into the forest behind Bella's apartment building. I didn't even stop to look to see if my sister was following me. My frustration needed to be taken out on something, anything.

Soon I came to a small opening in the forest. I stopped for a moment and yelled as loud as I could. My breath was labored and my anger was still there. Before I could see it, my nose cause the sent of blood. Not human, animal. I let my monster take over my body for a moment to capture the source. In a matter of seconds, the deer was beneath me, and my fangs were deep within its throat. It had been weeks since my last feeding, and the burn slowly started to fade.

"I guess this is better then killing Jacob."

Removing my fangs from deep within the deer's neck, I looked up to see my sister walking toward me with a smirk on her lips. The body dropped to my feet, just as she stood before me.

"I had to get rid of my anger"

"You can't truly be mad at Bella?"

"No. Him, Jacob. He touched what was mine."

"Exactly, was. Bella is no longer yours."

"Yes she is." I snapped "Bella will always be mine. No matter what."

* * *

><p>Bella Swan – Forks, WA<p>

A nap was exactly what I needed. All the tension in my body was gone and I felt rested. Rising from my bed, I noticed that my apartment was silent. Walking over to my door, and opening it, I noticed that Edward wasn't on the couch like he has been since I woke. Alice wasn't anywhere to be seen either.

"Hello?" I spoke "Alice? Edward?"

I didn't get a reply right away. But the door to my bathroom opened, and I watched as Jake stepped out. He looked toward me hesitantly and leaned against the doorframe.

"If you're looking for the pixie and the constipated redhead, they left."

"Left? Left here?"

"Yeah. Got out of here real fast." Jake walked toward me "What the hell happened to you? You look like shit."

I paused and glared toward him "What the fuck are you doing here? Don't you have a new girlfriend to hang out with or something?"

"Bella, don't…"

"Why not! You left me, Jake." I walked around him and toward the kitchen "Why don't you just leave?"

"Bella, you're being unreasonable. You and I are still friends."

"Can we really go back to being friends?" I asked

Reaching into my fridge, I pulled out some milk, and poured some cereal bowl. My stomach was empty and begging to be fed. Jake took a seat at the breakfast bar, and sighed heavily.

"I don't see why not? I mean, I'd love for you to meet Nessie."

"Nessie? That's her name?" I chuckle

"Don't. She's a little sensitive about her name." Jake said sternly

"Fine, whatever." I began to eat my cereal "So, did they say anything…when they left?"

"Um, no. But the dude – he looked ready to rip my balls off and feed them to me. The girl was hot though." He smiled

"Yeah, Edward is a little…emotional."

"Edward." Jake paused "Edward, as in your ex boyfriend, Edward?"

Since my mouth was full of food, I nodded my head to Jake's question. I watched as his eyes went wide, and looked at me with shock.

"Are you serious Bella? That's the guy? He's the one that left you?"

I nodded me head "They just showed up unannounced. Alice, its ok that she is here. But…I'm a little hesitant with."

"You should." Jake agreed "He's lucky I didn't know when he was standing in front of me. I would've killed him."

I had to mentally chuckle to myself. Edward would snap Jake's neck before Jake even had the thought of touching Edward.

"Now, are you going to tell me why you look like you've been through hell and back?" Jake asked

With a deep sigh, I explained the past two days to Jake.

**-please review-**

**Tumblr: belle-charlie**


	11. Night Out

**Lying to herself 'cause her liqueur's top shelf  
>It's alarming honestly how charming she can be<br>Fooling everyone, telling them she's having fun  
><strong>~ Carmen by Lana Del Rey

Cheated Myself

Chapter Eleven: Night Out

Bella Swan – Forks, WA

When I told Jacob about the attempted suicide and how everything went down, minus the fact that my ex-boyfriend was a vampire, it didn't go over so well. First, he was pissed that I would even do that. He called me a selfish bitch and that I only was thinking of myself and no one else that would be affected by me killing myself. But when I told him why, his anger turned into sympathy. I didn't fucking want sympathy. I'd rather take anger more then anything. Sympathy was parallel to me being pathetic. You had to be pathetic for people to feel sorry for you, which was the Bella Swan logical way of thinking.

Jacob finally stopped with the bullshit and started to act like how he usually did around me. Sort of, the sympathy was still there in his eyes as he talked to me about Nessie. He knew I was only changing the subject so that the conversation and focus wasn't on me. Thankfully, he left quickly after everything was explained.

I needed to go out tonight. Being in this fucking apartment wasn't good. I should've left the moment I woke up, but didn't and don't know why. _Oh yeah, vampire boyfriend trapped me in my bedroom._ Well, he was gone now and I needed some much needed time out of this damn entrapment. This used to be my sanctuary, but Edward ruined that the moment he walked through here.

Once night fell, I got dressed and prepared to head down to Port Angeles to head to the Rusty Eye. Weird name, yes, but this was a fucking weird ass town – do you expect anything less? But it was a place that Jacob took me to a lot, and they never carded me, so if I was going to get wasted like I planned – Rusty Eye here come. Dressing in a jean mini skirt and a slightly loose low cut tshirt, I walked into the summer air and across the parking lot toward my truck. The drive to Port Angeles was driven in mere silence. For once I welcomed the silence, unlike before when it was my enemy. This time no memory came back, no voice was yelling at me in my head. There was nothing there but the wind against my ear drum. Finally, Edward was gone from my conscious mind.

* * *

><p>When I parked my car, and looked around, I saw that the place was moderately packed. There were a few motorcycles parked out front, which meant that it was mostly full of a biker gang inside. Eagerly I walked across the parking lot, and then inside, to get a drink as quickly as I possibly could.<p>

"Bella, long time no see," Riley Biers smiled toward me.

"Hey, can I get a jack a coke please?" I sighed

"Rough night?" He asked, while prepping my drink.

"More like rought week, and keep 'em comin'." I smiled as he gave me first drink, oh yeah. Tonight was going to be good. Or, at least I hope so.

Edward Cullen – Forks, WA

Alice has made sure all night that I didn't return to Bella again. She was walking up behind me like a shadow, and it was annoying as ever. And it wasn't like I could escape her watchful eyes. She would see me trying to escape the moment it entered my mind. But all night she was blocking me from her mind. Every time I tried to read her thought, hoping from something about Bella, she was reciting the Declaration in Russian. or singing a song in Spanish. Again, my sister was one annoying pixie, and I wanted nothing more then to strangle her to death.

I did at one point slip away to my old bedroom. Even though it's been over a year since I was here last, the faint smell of Bella was still attached to certain things. Like the couch we spend endless night cuddling on. The bookshelf, where she grabbed books to read at time, before falling asleep in my arms, once again on the couch. A sad smile crept up on the corner of my lips, turning it into a sad excuse of a smile.

"Edward,"

Turning around to the bedroom door, I saw Alice standing hesitantly. A look of worry etched all over her face, and she wouldn't stop wringing her hands. But, when I tried to read her thoughts, she was repeating the same things from before.

"What's wrong?" I asked

"Is Bella…she…um, well…she's drunk and…"

"Where is she?"

"The Rusty Eye. I saw her getting into a car with strangers, and then it goes black. Her whole future disappears." She whispered "But…I can't tell when that is too happen. I-It could've happened already…"

"Alice,"

Her name left my lips in a hiss, as I pushed past her and down the steps. I wasn't going to wait around and hope that she gets another vision, and Bella's future doesn't turn black this time. Surprisingly, as I ran out of the house, Alice didn't follow behind me.

* * *

><p>It took me no more then two minutes to find Bella's scent, and follow it all they way to the Rusty Eye. It was some run down corner bar that was mostly frequented by bikers and washed up high football players from five years ago. As I pushed through the crowd at the door, I could still smell Bella in the bar, not knowing if she as still here, or just left. But my dead heart almost began to beat again, with anger, as I spotted her near the far wall. She was obviously drunk and sitting in some guys lap. His thoughts were seconds away from being the reason his blood would be all over the walls and floor of this worthless building.<p>

Bella's small hand was resting lazily on the mans chest, and she could barely keep her eyes open, she was so fucking drunk. Instantly, my monster came forth again and recognized that our mate was in danger. I had to make sure Bella didn't leave with these men. Even without the help of Alice's vision, their thoughts were confirmation enough that Bella wouldn't see morning if she left with them. _She truly had a fucking death wish_. That thought alone angered and saddened me at the same time.

"Boys, think we should head home" the obvious leader spoke "Little lady, would you like to come with us?"_…so that I could fuck you each way south_

A growl rumbled deep within my chest as his thoughts entered my mind. _He was first to go_. Bella giggled childishly, before slurring a yes. The main guy and his two friends all stood from the table, Bella tight in his grasp, and started to walk toward the door. I was smart enough to not cause a scene in front of all these people, so once they were up and out, so was I. I was more then determined then to kill these men before they even left the parking lot.

I followed them out into the poorly lit parking lot, which was thankfully, also empty. Their heavy footsteps echoed against the pavement and brick wall of the building as they walked. Of course, they couldn't hear me, I was in predator more, and they were my prey. Bella tripped over a pot hole in the pavement, having the 'leaders' grip on her waist slip away. I took that as my chance to attack, but first, one of the others.

First to go was his short friend. I made it quick, since he wasn't really in the mood for what they had planned tonight, but was going to participate anyways. He dead on the floor, neck broken, before anyone could blink. Bella let out a scream as her eyes fell onto the dead body, he heart hammering quickly within her chest.

"Who the fuck is there!" one of them screamed, but neither of them made a move. "Show your face!"

Same thing happened to the next guy, expect his throat was slashed with one of my finger nails. He let out a strangled gurgle, as his blood pooled across the pavement. Bella scrambled to her feat, but didn't dare make a noise. Something in her expressions told me she knew for it to be me. I stood directly behind the last one, the one with the thoughts of my Bella. The one that planned to defile her and then take her from me. Neither Bella, nor him, noticed where I stood.

Bella took one stumbled sloppy step backwards, and then froze. The small vibration that traveled through me, whenever she was near, started to intensify. The more she stumbled back toward me, away from the blood that pooled at her feet, the more it grew. Her breath hitched in her throat, and her heart skipped a beat or two. Bella turned around quickly, obviously sobered up some from moment before, and stared toward me.

"Edward?"

The last of the men quickly noticed Bella's attention was no longer him, making him finally see me. His demeanor went from shocked, to scared, then angry, and then fear again.

"Who the fuck are you?" He spoke,

My answer to him was doing the same as I did to his friends. His dead body fell to the ground within in seconds. Except, his heart was in my hands. Dropping it beside his body, I reached down and wiped the blood from my hands with his shirt. I had no remorse for these men. They were monsters, just like me. Now, the only thing left to do was to get Bella out of here.

**-Please Review-**

**Charlie's Note: Edwards 'monster' has a bit of sick dark side, if you haven't noticed. I mean, he killed three men in a matter of minute. But you found it hot, don't lie. Thanks for all the reviews**

**Tumblr: belle-charlie**


	12. Drunken Arguments

**Oh, I thought the world of you.  
>I thought nothing could go wrong,<br>But I was wrong. I was wrong.  
>If you, if you could get by, trying not to lie,<br>Things wouldn't be so confused and I wouldn't feel so used,  
>But you always really knew, I just wanna be with you<strong>

~ Linger by The Cranberries

Cheated Myself

Chapter Twelve: Drunken Arguments

Cullen House – Outside of Forks, WA

"You fucking bastard! Let me down! Let me fucking down now!"

As Edward neared, with Bella swung over his shoulder, Alice was able to hear them from within the house. She sighed heavily, knowing her brother did something rash. No matter how much she tried to tell him, Edward was going to act like how he thought was appropriate. Alice set down her dress, which she was folding, on her bed and walked down to the living room. Just as she entered the room, Edward came walking into the room with Bella, who was visibly angered. She kicked and punched his back and wiggling her way out of the tight grasp Edward had her in. But he wasn't going to let her down, Edward had no intention to.

But once Alice was able to see her brother fully, she let out a gasp. His shirt was covered in blood, human by the smell of it, and his eyes were completely black. Edward let out a growl of annoyance and nearly threw Bella down onto the couch in front of him. Bella let out a shriek of surprise, and Alice watched in shock as her body seemed to bounce violently on the soft furniture.

"Edward! What is wrong with you!" Alice yelled, walked quickly toward her best friend.

"She is out tonight with those men, throwing herself at them." He sneered "What the fuck is wrong with you Bella, do you have a death wish or something?"

"Last time I checked, mother fucker, ye-es. But someone decided to change that for me, like always. Why don't you just f-ucking leave me alone! I don't want you here!" Bella screamed, slurring some of her words slightly.

"Stop lying to yourself, Bella. I know you. You would've regretted it."

"You _think_ you know me, Edward. I've changed. Get that th-rough your head. I am different. Bella is gone, she is dead. You were the murder!"

Edward opened his mouth to say something, but stopped. His face screwed up in pain as he stared down at the disoriented girl before him. Her make-up was smudged slightly from her tears and her cheeks were flushed. She was simply beautiful to him, but as if for the first time, Edward finally saw how broken his love was. He could see the mask she had up since he had returned to her.

"The moment you walked away from me, you killed me. I was left alone and you did that to me." Bella cried "How – How could you ever think that you didn't?"

"Bella…"

Alice backed out of the room slowly, knowing this was going to be the time that Edward and Bella were finally going to talk. She knew this moment was going to come, but not this soon. In no way was she going to stop it. Deep down, no matter how fucked up the situation was, Edward and Bella were meant to be together.

"N-No! You didn't get to fucking speak!" Bella cried out "Do you know what I did Edward? What you put me through! What I turned away from so that the pain, the fucking ache in my chest could go away!"

Bella stood up from the couch, and grabbed at her chest, right over her heart. She let out another cry, and turned away from him and stepped three steps. Her back was now to Edward, and he watched she her shoulders shook with each cry she let out.

"Tell me," He whispered "Tell me, Bella."

She wiped her tears, but didn't look to him "That first night, the night you left me, I drank. I drank so much till I was so out of it, I wouldn't even know what way was up. Charlie knew, but didn't stop me. He knew why. He knew that I was already changing.

"Then, I stopped eating, then sleeping, then all together I became a zombie. I stopped talking and going out with friends. I stayed in my room trying to relive our memories. It pained, it hurt so fucking bad, but I welcomed the pain. It was all I had left."

Edward went to reach out for her, but stopped himself quickly. He knew that it wasn't wise to touch her at the moment. No matter how much his dead heart wanted her close. He could almost feel the pain her put her through. But he knew of the pain she spoke of. The dull ache that sat in his chest and increased each waking moment he was away from her. It was like he was going through the transformation every minute he was away.

"Bella, I know the pain you are talking about. Do not think that me being away from you was an easy choice,"

"Then why did you do it! Why? Why did you leave me?"

Bella turned around to face the vampire, her brown eyes wide and filled with tears. Edward could hear her heart beating erratically within her chest as he stood before her. Bella could see tears in his eyes, but that didn't dare fall over. Seeing as vampires don't cry, but their eyes did fill with venom as if they were tears.

"I was protecting you,"

Bella scuffed at his answer and rolled her eyes "Protect me? From what, Edward, what in Gods holy name do I need protecting from?"

"Think about is Bella," Edward stepped toward her, his voice holding some anger "In the year we were together, your life had become a horror movie. You were chased after and hunted down by James, because you were brought into my world. I almost lost you then, and thought that you were going to die in that ballet studio. But some how, you lived."

"Because you saved me. Edward we've been over this. James was a sick fuck, and if it wasn't me, then it was going to be another girl. That had noting to do with you."

"It's had _everything _to do with me!" Edward yelled "Then, my own brother attacked you. Over a fucking paper cut. If you were in a normal relationship, the worst that could've happened was that Esme couldn't find a band-aid. But instead, you get through into a window, and a large cut up your arm, needing for Carlisle to stitch you up."

Bella stood there and listened to Edward. Even though she understood his reason, she didn't forgive. Edward wanting to protect her wasn't good enough. He still took the choice from her.

"You wanted to protect me? Edward, that…that is fucking ridiculous." Bella laughed bitterly "I didn't need protecting. All I wanted was to be happy, and to be with you. But, instead, I was miserable and suicidal. Trying to find some sort of replacement in men that I barely knew!"

"That wasn't my intention." Edward muttered

"But that's what happened, can't you see that. Your plan failed. You did the opposite of what you were trying to do." Bella stated "You destroyed me, not protect me."

* * *

><p>It has been fifteen minutes since Bella and Edward has their talk in the living room. With much protest, she had finally agreed to stay the night. Alice helped her up to the guest room, while Edward walked solemnly to his room. Bella was all washed up and sat alone in the center of the bed staring out the window. She has pushed back the curtain and stared out into the woods, while the moon shone down on her. Her tears have since dried, and now she just sat in the silence of the house. She knew Edward was up, seeing as he can't sleep, and wanted to go to him. A small part of her wanted to go to him and ask for him to hold her. She was tired of fighting it. She wasn't going to fight the feeling that she was happy Edward was here. She prayed and begged every night that he was gone for his return.<p>

Little did Bella know, Edward wanted the same, he wanted Bella with him. It the moment where he laid beside her in bed, and just watched her sleep. Listen to her whisper his name, and how much she loved him. It was the small moments that he missed the most. But after tonight, Edward had no hope of that ever happening again. As much as Edward wanted Bella back, to have that love again, he knew it was going to be forever till it happened.

"What have I done? My sweet Bella, what have I done?"

Edward dropped his head into his hands and let out a cry. His body shook with sobs and cried that never fell from his eyes. The two lost lovers stared out to the same moon, wanting the other, but knowing it wasn't the time. Both their hearts wanted the other, but they both stayed away. It was going to be a battled before they ever returned to the place they were nearly two years ago.

When Bella finally fell victim to her own exhaustion, Edward rose from his bed, and walked to the level below him to watch her. He quietly slipped into her room, and slipped into the bed beside her. Once he was settled, it was like magnets, and her body moved closer to him. Her small arm wrapped around him, and her head rested on his cold chest. Bella sighed softly, and whispered his name, before falling deeper into her sleep.

"I'm going to get you back, Bella." Edward declared to his sleeping love "I'm going to get you back, and we are going to be in love once again. Because I lost you once, and I'm never doing that again."

**-Please Review-**

**Charlie's Note: Ok, so this was in 3rd person POV, but for a reason. I didn't want you guys to only see this from one persons mind. Its like you're the therapist, and letting these two finally talk. Neutral ground. Hope you're getting where I am trying to come from. Thanks for the reviews, I love them, and love it when you tell me your real thoughts**

**Tumblr: belle-charlie **(come and follow, please)


	13. Family Reunion

**I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,  
>Or tell you that.<br>But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it  
>where's the sense in that? <strong>

White Flag by Dido

Cheated Myself

Chapter Thirteen: Family Reunion

Bella Swan; Cullen House – Forks, WA

When I woke up the next morning my head was pounding and my eyes felt as if they were on fire. Everything that happened was still fresh in my mind. Edward telling me the reasons for him leaving me, and me telling him everything that I did when he was gone. Well, no everything. More like the rated PG version of everything that I did. He still knew nothing of Jake, the drugs, and the empty sex I had for myself. Well, still, technically. I almost did I again last night, only Edward stopped me.

It was horrific how he ripped those men to pieces. Killing them before my eyes, his monster was out and it was no longer Edward. But last night, that was Edward. Even though I was drunk, and there were some moments that started to blue, it felt good to know why. Why he left me, no matter how much of a pussy excuse I thought it.

I stared out the same the window I did last night, only this time I was looking up into foggy morning skies, instead of the moon and the stars. It was pathetic how much the only reason I'm still sitting in bed, is because I was afraid to see Edward. I was hiding away from him. I didn't want to look, speak or even be in the same house as him. A part of me wanted to run, and sneak out, but that was pointless with vampires in the house.

A soft knock on the bedroom door drew my attention away from the sky.

"Bella?" It was Alice, "Are you going to come down?"

I waited and didn't answer. Maybe if she thought I was still asleep, she would go away?

"Bella, I know you're awake." Alice sighed "Please, there are people here that want to see you,"

"I'm coming down in a moment, Alice." I muttered

"Ok," She spoke, enthusiasm in her voice.

With a heavy sigh, and tired limbs, I rose up from the bed and stretched out. My bones popped and my muscles pulled as I stretched, and then I headed into the bathroom. Slowly taking my time with the human necessitates, I found myself heading down the stairs to the unknown visitors I seemed to have. Once the living room came into view, my heart nearly stopped when I saw who was here. Everything seemed to freeze as I looked into the faces of the people I considered my family.

"Bella,"

Alice's voice was heard directly beside me, and it caused me to yelp slightly in surprise and jump back. My reaction causes Emmett to chuckle, the sound of his laugh made my look toward him. His amber eyes seemed to shine, and his dimpled smile caused me smile slightly. My big brother and the rest of my family were back.

"Why don't you come on down, we've all miss you, dear."

Esme's loving voice cause tears to well in my eyes, and I nearly ran toward her. Since losing Renee last year, I've missed having any sort of loving mother figure in life. Sue wasn't any where near that for me. Esme took me into her arms, and crushed me to her chest. A sob racked through my tired body, and I grabbed onto her as tightly as I could, like she was going to disappear before my eyes.

"Oh, Bella," She whispered in my ears.

If vampires could cry, I'm sure Esme would be, by the tone of her voice. Her hand patted my hair, and rubbed my back in comfort.

"I've missed you so much, Esme." I cried

"I know, my dear, I know. I've missed you too."

When I finally pulled back away from her, Esme smiled down toward me lovingly, like she always did, and whipped the tears from my cheeks. But something else was swimming around in her eyes. _Sympathy? Remorse? _

"What have you done to yourself, my child? You look like you've been through hell and back." She asked

"I-I kind have." I chuckled with false humor "But, I'm sure you don't wanna hear about that."

"Of course we do, you are my daughter, no matter what. I love you, and I wanna know what happened. Are you ok?"

"For now, I'm better."

"Well, then, as long as you are feeling better." She paused, "You must be hungry. Would you like something to eat?"

Simply nodding my head, Esme took that as an answer, and left quickly into the kitchen. Carlisle walked toward me, and kissed the top of my head, as he wrapped his arm around me.

"It's good to see you, Bella."

"You too, Carlisle,"

"When you are ready, I'd love to speak with you. Privately?"

"Ok,"

The moment I stepped away from Carlisle, Emmett came towards me and wrapped me tightly in his arms. I was nearly engulfed by his large arms, and let out a small squeal.

"Emmett! Let her down, you'll kill her."

Alice's voice screamed toward her brother, and quickly, I was placed my back on the ground. The room spun for a moment, but soon enough, I caught my balance. When I looked back up toward Emmett, his smile was just as bright and wide as I remembered.

"Sorry about that, Little B. I've missed you."

I chuckled at the nickname Emmett gave me the moment we met "I've missed you too, and don't worry, I've needed a bear hug for a while."

Emmett reached and ruffled my already messy hair, before departing just as Jasper and Carlisle had done. Rosalie looked toward me wearily, before stepping forward and stuck her hand out to me. Shaking Rosalie's hand was a step up from before.

"Bella,"

"Rose,"

She smiled slightly, before going to join Emmett. A small chuckle left my lips, before I looked toward Jasper. Alice was nearly glued to his side, with a gentle hand on his chest. He looks a little weary, scared and cautious. The last time we were in a room together, it didn't go too well. The scar on my arm seemed to burn with the memory of my 17th birthday.

"Its ok, Jazz, you're not going to hurt her." Alice whispered to him.

I paused "Jasper, I-I forgive you from what happened last time we were together. I don't blame you."

"But…you should, Bella. I nearly killed you." Jasper argued

"I nearly die everyday. I'm dying as I'm speaking to you right now. Trust me, that wasn't the first time death has knocked on my door." I smiled toward him "I forgive you, Jasper. I forgave you the moment everything calmed down. I understand_ everything_ that happened; you don't have to feel guilty about it.

Jasper looked down toward Alice, and she smiled softly and nodded her head. Her arms slipped from around him, and he stepped toward me. Jasper opened his arms to me, and instantly, I got what he was trying to say. I took the three steps that separated us, and hugged him tightly. He was a little stiff, but it was understandable. My blood still made him uncomfortable. But then again, it did for every vampire.

"Thank you, Bella."

"You're more then welcome, Jasper."

* * *

><p>Everything went back to normal, sort of, after we all go to say hello. Even after nearly over a year of being from each other, it fell into pattern. I might not've been related by blood to the Cullens, but they were my family, and now I finally felt like home – after the longest time. But the whole time this morning, I couldn't help but notice that one person was missing.<p>

"Where's Edward?" I asked, just as I finished the breakfast Esme made me.

"Hunting, I think." Alice spoke up "He was gone before you woke, and right after everyone got here."

"Not that I'm unhappy that you are here, but what made you come back?" I asked

"With Alice and Edward here, we thought it would best to come back also." Esme paused, "Bella, we know the reason for them coming back, why didn't you…"

"I couldn't call you, or anything. I didn't know how. I was cut off completely."

"Edward," Alice answered Esme's silent question, and sighed deeply "Edward made it sure that Bella wasn't going to be able to contact us. He deleted everything from her life that reminded her of us. That meant the email and everything were blocked. It was nearly impossible for us to talk at all. She didn't know the new address, or anything. Not to mention, Edward told us not to metal, and we were stupid enough to listen."

"Because we thought being away was best for you, like Edward. He had us look from his point a view, and agreed – no matter how much we all hated it." Carlisle spoke, as he walked into the kitchen "Bella, we are really sorry for listening to Edward, and leaving so abruptly."

"All if forgiven, Carlisle." I smiled softly

"I was wondering if we could talk. I have some things to ask, if that's ok?"

"No, yeah, that's fine."

I smiled toward the girls, and whispered a quick goodbye, as I followed Carlisle up to his office. For some reason, I felt like a child being led into the principles office. He entered first, and let in right after him, before closing the door behind. Carlisle directed me to a chair, before taking a seat behind his desk.

"So, what am I trouble for?" I asked

"No trouble, truly, just me being worried about you." He said "Esme wasn't kidding when she said you looked like hell."

I scuffed "Be gentle, please."

"Bella," Carlisle scolded

"Ok, so I haven't exactly been taking care of myself, but…" I shrugged

"They called me the night you were pulled out of the tub. Edward told me you took a combination of vodka, and medicated sleeping pills" I nodded, biting my lips "Have you had thoughts of trying it again."

I nodded my head, and looked down at my hands.

"I don't want to live." I whispered "I haven't for the longest time. Even though now things are getting better, I don't have the one thing that makes me truly happy."

Carlisle nodded understandingly "Edward, he makes you happy?"

"Yes," I hesitated "And I don't really wanna talk about him. Alice has forced that all of me, and I don't feel…comfortable about this…with you."

"Understandable, but Bella, I think you need therapy" He spoke seriously "You are showing signs of major depression, and with the suicidal thoughs and the lack of care you are doing for yourself, I think you are a major depressive."

"I don't want to talk to a stranger about my problems. Not to mentions its not like I can." I pointed out "I can't tell my therapist my vampire boyfriend left me and now I am depressed."

"Talk to Jasper. He's going to understand you, and not to mention, he's a psychologist."

"No offence, Carlisle, but…I'm ok with how I've been handling things lately. I don't wanna talk about my problems like some drugged up nut on a couch. I don't want that. What I want if for it go away, and there's only one solution to that."

"And Bella, that's the most disappointing thing you've ever told me"

**-please review-**

**Charlie's Note: So sorry for the late reviews, my week has been busy. Hope you enjoyed this, love review – especially the long ones!**

**Tumblr: belle-charlie**

*HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROBERT PATTINSON!*


	14. Murder in 3B

**You tell me that you're sorry,  
>Didn't think I'd turn around...<br>And say...  
>That it's too late to apologize.<strong>

~Apologize by One Republic

Cheated Myself

Chapter Fourteen – Murder in 3B

Bella Swan; Cullen House – Forks, WA

After the failed therapy session Carlisle tried to give me, I up and left his office, and headed back towards the bedroom in which I slept in last night. I slammed the door behind me, and sighed deeply. The hole within my chest started to open up one more, and tear through me. My hands flew up to my mouth to try and muffle the sobs leaving my body. My back slid down the door, till I was sitting on the floor with my knees to my chest.

"_You're no good for me, Bella" _

His voice haunted my mind and rang in my head like a bell. My shoulders shook violently as I cried. Carlisle was right, I am all kinds of fucked up. Edward killed me and it destroyed me. He was my everything and left me. No one understood that. They thought just because he was back, that everything would be fine. But Edward being back was killing me even more.

"Bella,"

I yelled slightly as I felt someone pound on the bedroom door. Turning around quickly, I scampered across the floor a few steps. Who ever was on the other side of the door scared the living shit out of me. My heart was ready to nearly come out of my throat.

"Bella? Please…open the door."

It was Edward. The heart that was ready to come up - was now stopped dead with the sound of his voice. I hesitated, to take a step forward and open the door, but stopped myself.

"Please, Bella…open the door." He begged "We need – I need to talk to you."

"Go away," I cried, my voice cracking slightly.

I heard Edward sigh "I can't. Please, open the door."

A small whimper left my lips. I was conflicted. A part of me wanted to open the door, and let him in. But another wanted to lock it and never look back. Both hypothetically and literally.

"Bella." Edward hesitated "I beg you, please."

I grabbed the ends of my shirt, and whipped the tears from my cheeks and ran into the bathroom. When I looked up towards the mirror, I saw how _bad_ I looked. My eyes were dead and sunken in, dark purple circles underneath them. My cheek bones were a little more prominent then usual, so was my jaw line. Looking away quickly, I splashed my face with cold water, before walking back out to the bedroom. I marched right up to the door, and hesitated, before opening it up slowly. Half of my expected him to not be there, but he was. Edward stood in the doorway, with his head down; till he heard the door began to open. His eyes a golden color from just coming home from a hunt. His facial expression was blank, and eyes unreadable.

"What do you want, Edward?" I whispered

"To talk, please, that's all I ask."

Nodding my head, I opened the door wider, and stepped aside. Edward took three steps forward and was in the bedroom, before I closed it again behind me. My skin started to feel like it was on fire, since Edward was now so close. My heart felt like it was growing and ready to explode at any moment. I heard him sigh from behind me, so close to me.

"Carlisle told me that you talked to him," Edward started

"Did he?" I scuffed, and turned towards him "Thought there was a client patient confidential?"

"Stop it, Bella." Edward spoke, his voice holding irritation "Why are you acting like this? Huh, why are you acting like a child?"

"Are you serious? Me being the child! I don't fucking thing so, Edward Anthony." I screamed "If anything, I'm finally no longer putting up with your bullshit."

"Me? I'm not the one walking around having a god damn pity party for myself, and wanting to commit suicide every time I breathe."

"Such a hypocrite," I muttered, with a smirk on my lips "Last time I checked, you were spitting the same tune since you were tuned. So now that my life went to shit, I'm not allowed to feel the same? Fuck you, Edward."

"Why do you want to die so god damn bad? Hmmm? Is it me? Is it me being here that is making you want to die, and leave _everything_ behind?"

Edward advanced towards me as he spoke, and nearly slammed his hands on either side of my head. His face was so close to mine. If I wanted to, I could rise up on my toes, and our lips would meet. A part of me wanted to. To feel his lips against mine, and taste him. Edward was the sweetest and deadliest drug I've ever had.

"You're not the problem, Edward. You're the solution." I whispered, turning my gaze from his.

I knew that would confuse him. From the corner of my eyes, I could see it over take his face. His beautiful face screwed up in confusion, his eyes brown knitting together. I slouched against the door, and sighed deeply.

"I'm the…what?"

"The solution, dumb-ass. The fucking solution. You always were, and always will be." I snapped "Don't you get that? Don't you see that is the only thing that will pull me from this deep shit of a hole I'm in?"

"But I caused this Bella," Edward pushed off the door, but continued to tower over me, "How does that make sense?"

"It doesn't. But it doesn't matter. I'm not giving in." I whispered

"What can I do?" Edward asked, after a pregnant pause "What can I do, to make you want to live?"

"Nothing," I spoke simply

Edward closed his eyes, let out a deep sigh, before looking back down towards me. His liquid topez eyes staring at me intensely, making me feel extremely small.

"I'm so sorry for what I've done to you, Bella. You have no idea how much I am sorry for. This is my biggest regret, knowing I'm putting you through this much pain. I want to fix it, let me fix it."

"Its too late for that," I answered almost instantly.

"Please,"

"I think you should be leaving, Edward. I'm done with this conversation."

He stood there for a moment, before nodding his head. Edward stepped back, allowing me to step away from the door, to let him out. I watched as he opened the door, and just walked away. A deep heavy sigh left my lips, as I let the nerves from that whole conversation leave my body.

"I need to get out of here,"

I thought to myself, and walked across the bedroom to my coat. I needed to get the fuck out of this place and return to my own. Being here was letting me out my element and I didn't feel in control.

After I had my jacket thrown on, and my clothes from last night tucked underneath my arm, I walked through the doorway and downstairs. Alice was already waiting at the bottom of the stairs, car keys dangling from her fingers.

"Take my car, I'll come and get it later. Leave the keys in your mailbox." She smiled

"Thank you, Alice. Really."

"Don't mention it. Call me if you need anything. I'm scared of leaving you alone."

"Don't be." I sighed, "You'll ruin any plans I made anyways."

She smiled sadly, and nodded her head, as she dropped her car keys in my open palm. We both hesitated for a moment, before I felt her tiny, cold arms wrapping around my frame. After a second or so, I wrapped my free arm around her shoulders, and buried my face into her hair.

"I love you, Alice." I whispered

She pulled back, and truly smiled towards me "I love you too, Bella."

* * *

><p>The whole drive home was in silence. I didn't want to hear the radio, knowing songs would play that wouldn't help my mood. I drove in complete silence with all of the windows rolled down. Granted, Alice's Porsche only had two sets of windows, the wind whipping through the car felt well. The sound of the wind clouded my mind enough to where I drove home without crying.<p>

When I did pull up into the parking lot of my apartment building, I thought Jake or Leah would be parked in the parking lot. But they weren't. In fact, the lot was nearly empty. With my clothes tightly in my arms, I made the short trip to my apartment. But it felt weird, like I was going to a foreign place. Since Edward broke my door knob, only a few days ago, I just pushed my door open and walked inside. But the sight before me was shocking.

Now, I know my apartment was no pristine place, but it wasn't as mess as I found it. Everything was thrown from its place. Clothes were thrown all over the place, along with some books and movies. My television was thrown to the ground and smashed. Completely destroyed. My jaw was still on the ground as I walked around and headed towards my bedroom. But before I moved too far, I pushed my couch in front of the door, so no one could come and break it. _Again_?

The moment I stepped towards my bedroom, I was smacked with the smell of blood. It was strong, but became stronger when the wind ripped through my apartment. It was so disgusting; I nearly gagged at the smell. Hesitantly, my feel led me towards my bedroom, and I reached out to push the door open. My eyes widened at what was before me, and a blood curling scream ripped through me.

Thrown across my bed, was Leah Clearwater. Her brown eyes stared back at me, wide with fear. A dead stare. Her mouth was left open, a silent scream never heard by my ears. Tears came to my eyes, as I looked over her dead body. Her throat was nearly ripped open, and long scratches were down her arm and legs. I tried to walk towards her lifeless body, but only fell to my knees with tears and another scream leaving my lips.

I took a moment to collect myself, before rising up, and walking towards her body. Her blood staining my sheets and dripping onto the dark floors. Reaching forward, I closed her eyes, and mouth. But her face was still constricted in a look of fear. Her chest was worse then any other part of her body. Her shirt and bra were in shred, and exposed her breasts. A long, deep cut ripped right down the center.

"Leah, I'm so sorry," I cried

But as my eyes raked over her body once more, something caught my eyes. In between her thighs, were two bite marks. Two holes inserted into her skin. My heart stopped. Quickly, I began to search for another, and soon found it. One on her wrist, and another on her inner arm. I now knew who her killer was.

"Vampire,"

**-Please Review-**


	15. Love Me Like Before

**And oh, I never meant to cause you trouble,  
>And oh, and I never meant to do you wrong,<br>And oh, well if I ever caused you trouble,  
>Oh no, I never meant to do you harm.<strong>

_~Trouble by Coldplay_

Cheated Myself

Chapter Fifteen – Love Me Like Before

Isabella Swan; Forks, WA

I couldn't believe that Leah was dead. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't call Charlie, since it was a vampire that had killed Leah. I've been pacing my living room for about fifteen minutes trying to figure out what the hell I was to do. But the only solution that came to mind was the Cullen's. So I picked up my cell phone and dialed Alice's number quickly. Thankfully she answered on the first few rings.

"Bella? Is something wrong?"

"I came home and…and…"

"Bella, calm down, and tell me what happened." Alice spoke

I took a deep breath "I came home to find Leah dead on my bed. She's got bit marks all over her body, and I believe a vampire killed her. I didn't know how else to call."

"Ok, we'll be there in a minute. Don't answer the door for anyone else, and don't go back into that bedroom, do you understand."

"Yeah, I-I got it…"

I hung up the phone and walked over to the couch to take a seat. Tears quickly came back to my eyes as the thoughts of my best friend, being dead and lying in my bed, rushed back to me. The image of her body was too much. I wanted them to go away. A sob left my body, and I just let myself cry. It felt like no more then five minutes, till I heard the door of my apartment open. Looking up, I saw Jasper, Edward and Alice walk in. Alice rushed towards me, and engulfed me into a hug, and I cried on her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Bella." She whispered

As Alice held me in her arms, I heard Jasper and Edward talking to themselves.

"Do you smell that?" Jasper asked

"Vampire. Fresh, new born possibly?" Edward answered anger all over his face.

"I'll follow the scent as far as I can," Jasper spoke

I pulled away from Alice, whipping away my tears, I saw that Jasper has left. Edward shifted on his feet, and looked towards me, concern and anger mixing together in his amber eyes.

"Well take care of everything, Bella." He spoke, "Don't worry about anything."

I nodded my head and watched as he and Alice left towards the bedroom. Walking into my kitchen, I searched the cabinets for something to drink_. I needed a fucking drink_. Thankfully, in the last cabinet I checked, a half empty bottle of whiskey sat. I grabbed it all too eagerly and popped the top of, before taking a long drink from it.

"Ah, that feels good," I groaned as the alcohol burned down my throat.

I turned around to the sound of something banging against the wall. When I looked up, I saw that Alice was carrying the bloody mattress out of the apartment. It was odd to see her little body carrying something so heavy. She sent me a sympathetic smile, before running out of the apartment at vampire speed. Alice returned, with Jasper, in only a matter of seconds.

"Did you find the source?" Edward asked from the doorway of my bedroom.

"It's stopped about three miles out. It's like whom ever it was disappeared completely." Jasper explained

"Who ever did this was trying to send a message," Alice spoke "But what exactly?"

"I don't know, but" Edward turned to me "You can't stay here, Bella."

I took a drink, before replying "I have no where else to go. Do you want me to sleep in my truck?"

"No, you'll come stay with us. Bella, who ever did this is trying to send a message, and I won't sit back and wait for something to happen."

"Edward is right Bella," Jasper spoke from beside Alice "You can't stay here. You'll be safest with us."

"I don't have much of a choice, do I?" I asked

"No. Not really." Edward spoke,

He walked towards me and grabbed the bottle from my hands before I could take another drink. I yelled in protest, as Edward walked over to the sink and began to dump it down the sink.

"Are you fucking serious right now?" I yelled

"You need to lay off the drinking." Edward spoke sternly "You won't drink and you won't be doing drugs while you're with us."

"Who the hell are you to tell me what to do," I yelled

"Your mate, goddamn it." Edward growled, before walking back towards the bedroom.

I looked towards Alice and Jasper for some help, but when I looked towards them, I found that they were gone. It took Edward, Jasper and Alice an extra hour or so to clean up the mess in my bedroom, before we all headed back to the Cullen's. I packed a bag, before Alice and I headed towards her Porsche to head back home.

"Thanks for helping me, Alice." I spoke as Alice drove back towards the Cullen's "But what am I supposed to do about Leah?"

"Don't worry. Jasper is taking her body to Carlisle's; he's going to take if from there. You have nothing to worry about, Bella."

"She was only 19, she has so much to look forward too." I whispered "Paul is going to be devastated."

"Bella, listen to me, I know that you loved Leah and that she was your friend, but we need to look at the bigger picture. Someone is after you, and killed Leah as a message to you." Alice spoke

"Who would do that? Who would come after me?"

"Think Bella, who is the one _vampire_ that has a vendetta against you and Edward?"

"Victoria," I spoke softly "But why now, after all this time? She has a yar to come after me."

"I don't know, Bella, but don't worry. We're going to protect you. We protect our family."

* * *

><p>When we came back to the Cullen's home, I called Charlie and let him know that I was leaving for a few days, and wouldn't be at the apartment. I needed to be left alone for a few days, and if everyone thought I was gone, then I would get exactly that. After calling him, I walked into the bathroom and stripped down naked, before walking into the hot shower. My body relaxed almost instantly as the hot water moved down my body.<p>

"Bella?"

My head shot up, and I peeked behind the curtain to see Edward leaning against the bathroom counter.

"Are you serious right now? You couldn't wait till I came out of the fucking shower?" I spoke, annoyance and anger in my voice.

"No." He spoke, and smirk crossing his lips "And its not like I haven't seen it before."

I scuffed and turned off the water, then reached down and grabbed the towel I set on the toilet for when I got out. I made sure it was securely around me, before pushing the curtain back and getting out. Edward was still leaning against the counter when I got out, and watched me as I walked towards him. I grabbed the clothes beside him, and decided to play a little bit with him.

With a small little smile, I dropped he towel and began to slowly dress myself. I heard Edward let out a deep growl as he watched me. I slipped on my underwear at a slow pace, before throwing on my v-neck with no bra on. Before I threw the towel in the hamper and then walked into the bedroom, Edward following close behind me.

"Aren't you going to finish getting dressed?" Edward asked, his voice heavy with arousal. Also evident from the erection pressing against his jean zipper.

"What Edward? I thought you wanted a show while we talked, that is why you came to talk to me in the shower. No?"

Edward's only reply was another growl from deep within his chest. I gave him a knowing smile as I sat o the edge of the bed I would be using. My brown eyes watched Edward as he walked towards the bedroom and closed the door, before turning back to me.

"I came to see how you were doing after today." He spoke

"I'm doing fine, thanks." I said, watching him still "Is that all?"

"No. I-I wanted to be able to fix…us. Be able to fix how we are around each other."

I shook my head "I don't know, Edward,"

Edward moved so quickly, I jumped back when I saw him on his knees and looking up at me. His eyes holding so much want, sadness and hopefulness that my heart nearly stopped. Edward was my weakness and I knew this, and at this moment, he was working it to his advantage.

"Please, Bella, I beg you." He spoke, his cold hands resting on my thighs "I know what I did to you was wrong, but I can't do this anymore. It's killing me to be away from you and not being able to be around you. I know it can't be like before, but I _need_ you, Bella."

"Edward,"

I whispered his name softly, as I felt tears well up in my eyes. I knew exactly what he was talking about. Fuck, I've gone through it for over a year. I knew Edward left me for what he thought was protecting me. I understood that, but I was still hurt over everything.

"Bella? Why are you crying, love." He whispered

"Because this is hard." I muttered "After everything, I want nothing more to be with you Edward. I want that. I want it so bad, it hurts. But I'm scared. You left me once, who says you won't do it again." I paused "Alice says she thinks its Victoria that is coming after me, and killed Leah because you killed James. Another vampire is a threat to me Edward; will you leave because you think it will protect me?"

"Of course I'm going to protect you, Bella. You are my mate and I will protect what is mine." Edward spoke firmly "I was wrong to leave you. I did more bad then good. Can we please, at least, try?"

I nodded my head "Yeah, we can try. We aren't going to come out of this alive, if we are fighting and not getting along."

"Thank you, Bella. You won't regret this." Edward whispered

"I've missed you, Edward. I'm not going to lie, but this isn't going to happen or not." I spoke "But can I ask of one thing?"

"Sure,"

"A kiss. Just a simple kiss?"

Edward nodded his head, before brining my lips down to his. He gave me exactly what I asked for, a simple kiss on the lips. Nothing to deep, or too little. Just perfect. When Edward pulled away, he rose from his knees, before kissing me on the forehead. I watched as he walked across the room and then out the door. I hoped what I just did was a good idea. I wanted to be at least friends with Edward, no matter how much I wanted more.

**-Please Review-**

**Charlie's Note: Thanks so much for all the reviews. **

**Tumblr: belle-charlie**


	16. Toile and Trouble

**Think of me when you're out  
>When you're out there<br>I'll beg you nice from my knees  
>And when the world treats you way too fairly<br>Well it's a shame I'm a dream**

~All I Wanted by Paramore

Cheated Myself

Chapter Sixteen – Toile and Trouble

Isabella Swan; Cullen House – Forks, WA

Edward continued to kiss me lovingly on the lips. How much I've missed his lips against mine. My fingers weaved their way into his hair, gripping tightly, pulling him towards me. Edward let out a slight groan as he pushed me back up onto the bed, his body hovering over mine. The sweet kiss from before quickly turned into heavy petting. Edward's hand groping the skin of my bare legs, before pulling my underwear down swiftly. His lips moved away from mine, and began to kiss down my neck, as his fingers teased me.

"Uhh…Edward,"

I grabbed tightly onto the sheets beneath me, as I felt him thrust two fingers deep within me. His lips continued to assault my neck, and a soft moan left my lips as I felt my climax near. Edward removed his fingers from within me, and threw my legs open, before settling between them. His eyes held so much hunger and want, as I watched him lick my slit slowly. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as the pleasure over took my body. His name leaving my lips in a loud moan.

Edward's grip on my thighs was tight, so tight, that I knew bruises would show in the morning. But I didn't care, I wanted this. My climax was closer then before, and my breath was coming out more labored then before. Reaching down, I grabbed tightly at Edward's hair and I felt my release.

"Oh, Edward." I moaned

Next thing I felt was Edward's fangs sinking into the skin between my thighs. Another climax ripping through my body as I felt him drink from me. Suddenly everything around me began to fade, and soon the room came back into view. Looking around, I saw that Edward wasn't with me. He wasn't feeding from me, from between my legs, and I never got any action last night_. Because it was a fucking dream_. Best fucking dream of my life.

I let out a groan of frustration as I got out of bed. It has been two days now since Edward kissed me, after begging for me to forgive him. It was a bad idea to say yes to him. Because now, for two days, I have dreams about what could've happened if it went further. Each leaving me wanting more the next morning, and a cold fucking shower. I couldn't take it. And Jasper's coy smiled weren't helping at all either.

Getting up from my bed, and walking towards the bathroom for a quick morning shower. Once it was over, I threw my hair into a ponytail and slipped on a pair of shorts and a tank top. When I walked down to the living room, no one was around. In fact, the house was mostly silent. _Perfect_. One of the many things the Cullen's had to keep up human appearances when guests were over was a fully stocked bar. Never been used, never touched. Till now.

Walking across the room, and towards the small bar, I opened up the bottom cabinet and pulled out some whiskey, not the cheap shit either. After grabbing a glass, I walked into kitchen to grab something from the kitchen. I reached into the fridge and pulled out supplies for a sandwich, and prepared it quickly, before talking a seat. Popping open the top off the whiskey, I poured myself a glass, and took a long drink.

"Fuck, the feels good." I sighed

So for the next fifteen minutes I drank myself under while eating a quick sandwich. I was about half-way through with the small bottle when I heard footsteps walking towards the kitchen. Suddenly a feeling of fear ran through my body_. Shit, shit, shit_. But before I could make a move, Emmett came walking through the door, a shit grin on his face. He paused in the doorway and looked towards me.

"Oh, good. Its only you." I sighed in relief, before taking another drink.

"Whoa there, little B." Emmett chuckled "I thought Edward told you not to drink while you were here."

"Is Edward here?" I asked curiously

"No. He and Jasper are helping finish up your apartment," He sighed and took a seat beside me.

"Well then, what Edward doesn't know won't hurt him, now will it?"

Emmett chuckled lightly "I guess you are right there,"

I smiled towards him, before bringing my glass back up to my lips and taking a sip. The alcohol burned slightly down my throat and I could fee the effects setting in quickly. The room as starting to spin and my head was starting to feel a little light.

* * *

><p>Some how Emmett and I were outside, the bottle now empty, and fully in my system. I had stripped down to my underwear and was now relaxing in the small creek outside the Cullen home. The water was freezing, but since I was drunk, I didn't care. Emmett sat on a boulder not far from me, watching me closely, and laughing every time I tripped and fell.<p>

"Bella! Bella!"

Edward's voice was heard calling me from the back of the house, worry evident in his voice. I froze and popped up from floating in the water. Emmett laughed towards me, and jumped down from the boulder.

"Uh, oh. You're in for it now." He chuckled

"Shit, party pooper is here." I sighed, and began to make my way out of the water "He's always acting like my damn father."

"It's the mate in him," Emmett explained "He can't help it. Edward just wants what's best for you, Bella. And with Victoria posing a threat, its going to get worse."

I grabbed the towel I had waiting for me, and wrapped it around my already shivering body. Emmett and I walked back up towards the house, and immediately, I saw Edward come into view. He was waiting for me on the back porch, glaring down towards me. Another wave of fear went through me as I looked up towards him. I paused in front of him, as Emmett continued to walk into the house.

"Where were you?" He asked his voice hard and cold.

"Emmett and I went for a swim," I spoke softly "No one was home, and I was bored."

"You can't leave the house like that," Edward spoke

I rolled my eyes "I was with Emmett, ok, nothing was going to happen. If anyone could protect me, when you're not around, it's him"

Edward nodded his head, and instantly relaxed.

"I was just worried. When I went up to your bedroom, and didn't see you there…"

He left his statement hanging, but I already knew where he was going with it. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly. Surprising Edward and myself.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Have you been drinking?"

My body stiffened slightly, before I backed away from his arms. I nodded my head, and moved to hold the towel closer to my body.

"I was hoping you'd stop that," Edward sighed, annoyance crossing his expression.

"It's not going to happen over night, I told you that." I moved to walk towards the house "Not to mention I needed to relax, and that helps."

My wet feet left small tracks on the hardwood floor as I walked away from Edward. I wasn't in the mood to hear him lecture me about what I'm doing for my life. He might be my mate, but in now way, were we together. At least, not yet. We have only begun to repair what was destroyed.

"Oh, there you are!" Alice smiled, walking towards me

"What's wrong, Alice?"

I could see it all over her face, something was wrong.

"Its about Leah. Someone tipped the police off that she was found at your apartment. And now since Charlie thinks you left town, they are putting you as a suspect." She spoke quickly.

"What! I-I didn't kill her, I found her."

"We know that, but they don't know that. They have and APB on you, Bella. You have to go to the police, explain that you found her, and then everything will be fine."

"Do you believe that?" I asked

"For right now, that is our only choice."

**-Please Review-**

**Charlie's Note; So, Bella is getting into a little trouble. Someone is tipping off the police, wonder who? Already writing the next chapter, but won't be up for a while, packed with work this weekend. Please leave a review on how you think it's going to play out. Thanks so much for all the reviews, which inspire me to write more. **


	17. Jake

**Well maybe nothin' lasts forever  
>Even when you stay together<br>I don't need forever after  
><strong>…  
><strong>Did you know, could you tell<br>****You were the only one  
><strong>**That I ever loved  
><strong>**Now everything's so wrong  
><strong>~Favorite Mistake, Sheryl Crow

Cheated Myself

Chapter Seventeen – Jake

Isabella Swan - Forks, WA

How the fuck am I a suspect for my friend's murder? After Alice told me that an APB was out for me, I ran upstairs and changed as quickly as I could. Slipping on a pair of dark wash jeans and a hoodie, Alice and Edward were waiting for the moment I walked back down the stairs. My body was running purely on adrenaline and fear. Was I going to be arrested? Was Charlie going to lock me up?

"Bella, calm down, everything is going to go smoothly" Alice spoke

"You don't know that," My voice cracked slightly "I could to jail, I could be charged with murder."

Edward walked towards me, and grabbed me, pulling me tight to his body He cooed lightly in my ear, in attempts to calm me down. I could feel the panic attack settling into my body, no way of being able to stop it. Edwards arm moved down my back, slowly calming me down.

"Its going to be ok," He whispered in my ears "I'm not going to let anything happen to you,"

I clung onto him tighter, silently asking him to keep that promise. I felt his lips press against my forehead, kissing me lightly, before pulling back. Alice led the way out of the house as we all walked out to Carlisle's car. Alice moved to take her seat behind the driver's seat, as Edward moved to sit beside me in the back seat. My leg shook slightly the entire ride, my nails being nearly bitten down to the head.

"Bella, everything is going to be ok." Edward spoke from beside me.

"You don't know that," I shook my head "No one knows that, not even Alice."

He sighed heavily, and brought me closer to his side in the back seat. Alice pulled up to the Forks Police Station faster then I wished. My stomach dropped slightly as she parked beside the front entrance of the station. I stared up at the building, before getting out of the car behind Edward. He reached down and grabbed my hand, comforting me as best as he could.

Alice walked ahead of us, opening the front door, and into the small lounge. Carla sat behind the front desk, and looked up towards us the moment the bell above the door sounded.

"Bella," She spoke, her voice holding surprise "I'm guessing you are here to see Charlie."

I nodded my head "Y-Yes."

She stepped from behind her desk and down the small corridor where I knew Charlie's office was stationed. From down the hall she could hear Carla speaking to her father, before footsteps were heard coming back towards them. She grasped tighter onto Edward's hand as her father came into view.

"Isbella," His brown eyes fell on me, then to Edward "Edward, wasn't expecting to see_ you_ with my daughter."

"Chief Swan," Edward spoke, his voice guarded

Charlie's eyes focused back on me, and already, I knew that I was in trouble. I mean, he already called me 'Isabella, and not Bella. He only calls me that when I'm in trouble.

"I'm guessing you're here because you heard of Leah?" Charlie asked, I nodded my head "We found her body just outside of La Push, but it was obvious that the body had been moved. An anonymous tip was given the other day, saying that she was originally found in your apartment. Is that true?"

I looked down towards my feet, feeling the tears rush to my eyes, and threatening to run down my cheeks. Edward must've sensed it, because he let go of my hand, and wrapped it around my body, pulling me to his side. Normally I wouldn't be 100% comfortable with the touches Edward was giving my body, but I needed him right now. I was willing for my walls to crumble slightly, in order to have him by my side.

"Yes," I whispered "I-I came home from the Cullen's and discovered Leah, I-I got scared and left again. But whatever happened after that I have no idea."

"Why did you leave town?" Charlie asked

"Because I couldn't go back to that place, not after what I discovered."

I heard Charlie let out a deep sigh, still not looking toward him. He walked towards me, stopping once he was in front of me.

"Bella, I'm going to have to take you in,"

My head snapped up and I felt my stomach drop to my toes.

"What?" I spoke timidly

"Bella, turn around,"

"Chief Swan, you can't seriously be arresting Bella," Edward moved to stand protectively in front of me "She didn't do anything wrong,"

"She didn't report a murder, and is the main suspect." Charlie spoke, "Now, Edward move out of the way."

Alice spoke lowly to Edward causing him to move out of the way. One of Charlie's deputies stepped from behind the front desk and towards me. Instantly the tears began to fall down my cheeks before the handcuffs were even secured around my wrist. A cry ripped through me as I was being led to the holding cells in the back. This was now the lowest moment of my life. I could hear Edward and Alice, but their voiced were muffled, and soon cut off the moment we walked through the heavy steel door into the back room.

* * *

><p>"Bella, wake up."<p>

I rolled over on the small, itchy cot that was inside the cell and turned to see Jake at the cell doors. I jumped up and rushed towards him, trying to hug him as close as possible. Tears welled up in my eyes once more, and spilled over.

"What are you doing here?"

"Charlie is questioning people about Leah, once I heard you were back here, I came to see you," He spoke

I pulled back and looked towards him, but something felt off. Jake felt off completely, actually. His eyes weren't the dark chocolate brown that I had known so well. They were a little off.

"Di-Did something happen to your eyes?" I asked, a confused expression grossing my face. "They…they look different."

"Must be the lighting," He shrugged.

I stepped back and grabbed his hands, but jumped slightly as how cold they were. There were freezing, and hard. Not the unusual warm temperature Jake usually ran at. I was confused for only a moment, before everything puzzled together. A loud gasp left my lips, and immediately, I backed away from you.

"Jake," I whispered "What happened to you?"

At first, he looked towards me with the same innocent look that he always seemed to have in his eyes. But soon, his lips curled up into a mischievous smile that made my spine tingle in fear.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," He spoke, his voice dark "You just can't keep yourself out of trouble, can you?"

"What are you talking about? What the fuck happened to you?" I screamed

"I ran into your friend with Victoria. She wasn't so happy about meeting us, apparently able to smell your scent on both Leah and I. She attacked Leah, after she attacked me. Thankfully, she spared me, turning me into a vampire."

Jacob gripped tightly onto the steel bars of the cell, causing a painful shrieking noise of crushed metal to emit through the room. I grabbed to cover my ears as I watched as he ripped a portion of the wall away from the cell. A scream left my lips as he chuckled it away from me.

"Now, my mission was to bring you to Victoria," He spoke, stepping into the cell "But, I haven't eaten in days, and you smell too sweet to pass up."

"Jake, please. We are friends – you don't have to do this."

"You see, Bella, we aren't friends." His face fell into a snarl "We never were friends. You used me to try and get over your fucking boyfriend."

"No, you are my friend, Jake."

He growled deep within his throat and lunged towards me. I let out another screech as I felt his cold hand wrap around my throat, cutting off my air passage. A sickening crunch was sounded when he threw me down on the hard ground. My vision became hazy and clouded, knowing it was from the impact I hit my head at.

"J-Ja-Jake," I chocked out

"You're going to die bitch, do you hear me!" He screamed into my face.

I tried to claw away at his face, but it was like clawing at stone. My eyes widened in fear as his fangs gleamed down at me. He thrust my neck to the side, before singing his fangs into my skin. My scream of pain was muffled as he drank from my skin. Any time Edward fed from me, willingly, it was never painful. It was always pleasurable. But it felt like Jacob was ripping my neck open. Once again my vision was becoming fuzzy and clouded. I knew it was only a matter of minutes before I lost consciousness. But just before I could slip into the darkness of my unconsciousness, Jacob was ripped from above me.

"Bella? Bella!"

I could hear Alice's voice in my ear, but it sounded like she was underwater, or that I as underwater. Her face came into view, clouded slightly by the darkness. I heard the sound of growling and snarls, but soon, couldn't keep my eyes opened.

"Edward, she's losing too much blood!"

Soon I felt myself being lifted up off the ground, and into someone's arms. The soft vibration I felt beneath my skin told me that it was Edward, whose arms I was in. Next I felt the breeze against my skin. But I was unconscious only a few moments later.

**-Please Review-**

**Charlie's Note: So, Jake is a vampire – and before you all ask, he got away. The next chapter will be in Edward's POV starting from when Bella gets arrested. I might updated again tonight, or tomorrow night, not 100% sure. I'm working all this weekend, so going to be busy. **

**Tumblr: stewskars-s **_(named changed)_


	18. Found Broken, Savior of Mine

**Sometimes love is not enough  
>and the road gets tough<br>I don't know why  
>Keep making me laugh<br>Let's go get high  
>The road is long, we carry on<br>Try to have fun in the meantime**

-Born to Die, Lana Del Rey

Cheated Myself

Chapter Eighteen – Found Broken, Savior of Mine

Edward Cullen, Cullen House – Forks, WA

"I can't believe that _fucking _arrested her," I spoke angrily

"We'll get her out, Edward. Don't worry."

"He own father, Alice, had her arrested. This was all a set up, I can feel it. Someone is trying to get Bella, and now I can't protect her because her father arrested her."

I could feel the anger boiling under my skin, I wanted nothing more then to march back down to the police station and rip Charlie's heart out. It was complete bullshit that Bella was arrested, we made sure nothing would get traced back to her, so whom ever this person that gave the tip is; they are connected back to Victoria. This only angered me further. Suddenly a wave of calm came over me, and I looked up to see Jasper walk into the room. His body was rigid, and his face was blank.

"Bringing that anger into a house full of vampires isn't exactly the wisest decision, Edward." He spoke, his voice firm.

"When Alice get arrested, and you can't do shit it, wouldn't you be pissed."

He nodded his head "But I would try and think clearly and figure away to get her back. And by the look on your face, you aren't exactly thinking clearly."

Jasper was right, so I took on a seat on the couch and didn't fight the influence he was sending my way. Alice got on the phone quickly and called Carlisle, seeing if he could help in anyway. I tried calling back up to the station, but every time I did, the line was busy.

"Carlisle said that nothing can be done on his part on getting Bella out. He already told Charlie that the person that killed Leah was someone with great strength and calculated every mark on her body. This is true, if we are talking about Victoria or any other vampire. But that description obviously isn't Bella." She spoke, confusion in her voice.

"None of this is making sense." I sighed "I tried calling, seeing if we could bail her out, but the lines are busy. We were only up there an hour ago,"

"Edward, none of this feels right." She whispered

I felt the same, getting up abruptly from the couch; I walked through the front door towards the cars, Alice and Jasper following close behind me. There was no way that Charlie would arrest Bella without real cause, so this was definitely a vampires doing. How, that is still a mystery. But I wasn't going to leave Bella to sit like bait in a cell. I wasn't going to lose her again. I got into the front seat, with Jasper beside me, and Alice in the back. I sped down the streets and headed back down to the police station.

"Do you think someone fucked with their minds? There are few vampires out there that can control minds." Jasper spoke

"How would Victoria get her hands on one of those? They are rare as fuck, and last I knew, they are part of the Volturi guard." Alice questioned

I turned sharply into the parking lot of the police station, and we all got out the moment the car was turned off. The moment I walked through the double doors, I could smell it. Blood, tons of it. Alice let out a gasp; behind the desk was the receptionist, her neck nearly ripped open, blood still flowing. I couldn't hear a heart beat, she was already dead.

"Alice, check the offices," I directed "Jasper catch the scent, see if its still here."

Before the sentence full left my lips, Jasper and Alice were off and gone from the front of the police station. I heard a crash and a scream coming from the back. I ripped the handle off the steel door, and walked down the short hallway, till I came to the holding cells. I let out a growl and crouched down, as I saw a man standing over Bella. His grip tight around her neck, and then I could smell her blood thick in the air.

I leapt into attack and ripped him off of her, and threw him across the room. He snapped up, crouching down in defense, and snarled towards me. I was shocked to see that it was Jacob, Bella's friend that I had only met once. Bella's blood was all over his face, and dripped from the fangs he flashed towards me. I made the move to lunge towards him, but he was fast, and escaped out the door. Before I could make a move to chase after him, I heard my sister call out my name.

"Edward," She spoke, panic in her voice "She's losing too much blood!"

I rushed towards Bella side, and could barely hear her heart beat. Without thinking, I brought her up into my arms and ran home. I knew running her home was going to be faster then taking the car back. Already as I was heading out, Alice was on the phone with Carlisle. I held my breath as I ran, Bella's blood scent becoming to strong, it was being difficult to not give into her blood.

"Don't you dare die on me, Bella" I whispered in her ear. "I can't lose you, not now, not ever."

* * *

><p>"She should be awake by now," I spoke impatiently<p>

"Give it time, Edward. Her body as gone through a lot of trauma"

The moment I had reached the home, and taken her upstairs to my bedroom, I fed Bella my blood. I knew that if I waited for Carlisle together, she would've died. Even though she didn't react well the last time I shared my blood with her, I wasn't taking the chance to lose her. She now lay, looking peaceful as ever, completely healed. Her heart beat was back to a steady beat, and the color has returned to her skin. But it was taking too long for her to wake, and return back to me.

"Bella will wake in a few minutes, Edward." Alice spoke from the doorway.

I could see the worry in both her face and her mind. I nodded my head, and watched as Carlisle left the bedroom. I moved closer to Bella, waiting for her open her eyes once more. It seemed like forever, but eventually, she let out a soft whimper, before her consciousness began to return.

"Edward,"

My name came out as a cry, as her eyes opened and looked towards me. A sense of relief took over my body, as I pulled her closer to me. I don't know what came over me, but I felt he strong need to kiss her, and I didn't hold back. My lips molded against hers as I kissed her passionately. Her body froze beneath mine, before she gave in, kissing me back with just as much need. Little whimpers and sighs left her lips, between the small pauses between our kiss. Her small hand reached up and gripped tightly to the t-shirt that covered my chest. My hand moved down her side, till it got to the back of knee, where I pulled her leg of my waist.

I could feel my incisors threatening to extract, so I had to pull back away from here, but not too far. Her breath brushed against my skin, as her breaths were labored from the kiss. Her eyes were closed and her cheeks flushed. The sweet melody of her erratic heartbeat met my ears.

"I thought I'd never see you, Edward." She whispered her voice low "I dreamt it. I dreamt that I was never coming back to you."

"Shh, it's ok. You're ok now."

"I was so scared. I thought I was going to die," She clenched tighter to my chest, tears running down her cheeks "Jacob, he was so angry with me. I-I don't know why? I thought we were friends."

"Jacob is not who you thought, anymore. He's different now."

Her eyes looked up towards me, and I reached to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"He's with Victoria. He told me that she attacked him and Leah because she could smell my scent on them, but spared him to use him as a tool to get to me." She explained "He was to take me to her, but decided to kill me himself."

"Its ok, I'm not letting you out of my site." I whispered

"No one came to check out the noise, it was like no one was there."

"That's because no one was," I explained "He killed a few officers and the receptionist to get to you. Don't worry, Charlie wasn't there. But we feel that someone manipulated his mind, to get to you."

"Who?"

"I don't know, but something tells me it might be Jacob." I brought her close to me, kissing her softly "I'm going to protect you, Bella. Nothing is breaking us apart again."

"I believe you, Edward." She whispered, and hesitated "I want to tell you something. Something that I thought I wasn't going to be able to tell you,"

"What?"

"I love you." She whispered, looking up towards me "I love you, even thought I'm still hurt by what you did, I never stopped."

**-Please Review-**

**Charlie's Note: Ok, so my "c" button is broken and chooses moments when it wants to work. I tried to catch all the words that might be missing the letter, but if I didn't, this is me warning you now. If a word looks funny, and is missing the letter "c", you know why. Thanks so much for all the reviews. Things are going to be happening pretty fast now. **

**Tumblr: stewskars-s**


	19. Turn Turn Turn

**And I'll never give myself to another  
>The way I gave it to you<br>Don't even recognize  
>The ways you hurt me, Do you?<br>It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back  
>And you're the one to blame<strong>

Rehab by Rihanna ft. J. Timberlake

Cheated Myself

Chapter Nineteen – Turn Turn Turn

Jacob Black; Unknown - Forks WA

Jacob whipped the blood from his mouth from the back of his hand, before dropping the dead body to the ground. After being interrupted at the police station, he went and drank for the first human he saw. He turned on his heel and ran straight to the one place that has become his home since his change. It was a warn down warehouse right outside of Forks, WA. He knew of the fiery red head that would be waiting for him – expecting Bella to be with him.

The though of Bella's name made his cock hard. He never wanted someone as much as he wanted Bella. A small part of him felt guilty for what he was helping Victoria with. But then he thinks of all the pain she put him through, on how she used him. Used him like a sex toy to get over her boyfriend. He growled at the thought.

Once he reached the warehouse, he pulled the door open, and then slammed it shut behind him. He could hear Victoria's loud moans. Typical, he thought. She never could stop herself from fucking one of the others while he was gone. Not that he was made, he did the same.

"Victoria! Get your fucking ass down here, now." He shouted

Her moans died down, before stopping completely. Jacob walked to the main area, to see Nessie lounging across the couch, a soft smile on her lips. The night he was changed, he was with Leah and Nessie. He begged Victoria to spare him and Renesmee. Thankfully, she did, giving them both immortality.

"Did you find her?" She asked him

"Yeah, fucking Cullen's came back and figured it out." He spoke, before sitting next to her.

"I told you they would. Edward, Alice and I are the same – they would've figured it out someone fucked with Swans mind." She sighed "At least you tried."

"I'm going to kill them, one by one, till I have her."

"Till _I_ have her,"

Both looked over the back of the couch to see Victoria walk towards them. Her fire red hair was pulled back into a loose bun, that sat perfectly on the top of her head. Her red eyes glared towards the new newborns, as she walked towards them in nothing but a slightly sheer nightgown. Giving both Nessie and Jacob a view of the body beneath it.

"Where is she?" She growled "Where is the girl?"

Jacob shifted uncomfortably "She got away. Cullen interfered."

"Fuck," Victoria growled "Nes, did you manipulate Swan like it said?"

"I did." Nessie sighed "But like I explained to Jacob – the Cullen's would've caught on. We need a new plan."

Victoria growled, and walked away from her allies. She knew, to get her revenge, it was going to be tougher then just kidnapping Isabella Swan. Victoria wanted nothing more then for Edward Cullen to feel the pain she felt after he killed James. She was going to get that, but hated the fact that it was going to take time.

"Fine, we'll come up with a new plan. Grab Riley and Scott. We are going to need them for this." She sighed "But Jacob, she knows what you are now – keep your distance."

Jacob nodded "We will."

"I have a friend that will help us, Laurent. I'll be gone for two days to get him. Please, don't fuck any of this up. Or I will kill you."

* * *

><p>"I tried following his scent, but it died five miles out from the police station." Jasper spoke, walking into the living room.<p>

It has been six short hours since Bella woke up. She sat on the couch of the Cullen's home, beside Edward. And in those six hours, they have all tried to figure out a plan on finding Jacob – who would hopefully lead them to Victoria. A shiver of fear ran up Bella's spine, and she brought her.

"She isn't going to make this easy," Bella sighed "I can feel it. Victoria isn't going to stop till she has me."

"She isn't going to get you, Bella" Edward spoke, his voice firm "I'll kill her before she touches you."

Bella buried her head into the crook of Edward's neck, and held onto him as tight as possible. The moment they touched, the worry she felt before, slowly started to dissipate. Her heart hammered hard within my chest, as Edward kissed her temple.

"Edward is right. She not only posses a threat to you – but to this whole family." Carlisle spoke "We know Jacob is part of Victoria's team, we can only assume any other person associated with him is also. We don't wanna take any chances."

"Isabella, you should stay with us," Esme suggested "It would keep you safe."

She nodded my head "Um, I-I can't return to the apartment. It was the last place Leah was…"

"We understand." She shifted on her feet "Would you like a separate bedroom, or…"

Edward interrupted "Think it would be wise she has her own room,"

Esme smiled down towards both of them, before leaving to prepare a room for Bella, Alice soon joining her mother. Slowly everyone began to dissipate from the room. Edward and Bella were left alone.

"Edward, what would you say – if I knew of a way to stop Victoria."

"What would that be, exactly?" He whispered, looking towards Bella.

Confusion crossed his face as he stared towards his mate.

"Change me." She spoke firmly

"No," Edward spoke, not even thinking about it "I will not damn you to this life."

"And I won't have you risk your life again, just to save mine."

"No, Bella, no."

"If you won't change me, then I'll have Carlisle do it." Bella stood from her seat and glared down towards Edward "I am not going to sit back and let people fight a battle that revolves around me. Change me, Edward."

"I'm not having this conversation," Edward stood and began to walk away "You're beginning to think irrationally, and this idea is ridiculous."

"I'll never understand you, Edward. The resolution to this problem is right in your hands, and you are just turning your back to it?"

**-please review-**

**Charlies Note: I know its short, but I haven't really had time to sit and think about this chapter. I hope that its ok, please forgive me. I've been really really busy – Real Life is getting in the way. Thanks for all the reviews. **


	20. Finally

**I love you much  
>It's not enough<br>You love blow and I love puff  
>And life is like a pipe<br>And I'm a tiny penny rolling up the walls inside  
><strong>Back to Black – Amy Winehouse

Cheated Myself

Chapter Twenty – Finally

Bella Swan; Forks, WA – Forks, WA

After talking with Edward, I walked up to the bedroom. I didn't understand why he wasn't seeing the reason behind me wanting him to change me. _Because he doesn't want to be with you forever._ An eerie feeling of sadness washed over me. Maybe it was true? Maybe he didn't want to be with me anymore. _That's why he left in the first place, you hopeless bitch. _I was beginning to think that Edward and I could repair everything that had happened, but it's possible that I was wrong. I knocked twice on her bedroom door, and waited. Only a few moments later did Alice appear before me.

"Come on in," She smiled softly.

Stepping into her bedroom, I closed the door behind me and walked forward and took a seat on the couch in her room. Alice walked back towards me after closing her bedroom door.

"I need your help," I spoke quickly

"Bella, I already know what you are going to ask – and I'm going to agree with Edward on this one."

I growled with frustration "What the hell is wrong with you people? Victoria is creating an army, and you are going to need me. This fight is because of me, I'm not sitting back and watching it happen. I'm not going to be babysat, because I'm unable to protect myself. Please, Alice, I need for you to do this for me."

Alice sighed "Bella, think about this, this isn't something temporary"

"I know that, Alice."

"Do you really want this Bella? Or are you using this because you are scared? You'll know that we will protect you – right?"

I sighed deeply "I _know_ that you can, Alice. Just – never mind, forget me ever asking."

I stood up from her couch and walked quickly past her and toward Carlisle's study. Once I got to the door, I knocked twice. I soon heard a soft 'come in', before entering the room. Carlisle sat behind his desk, and looked up towards me.

"Bella, what can I help you with?"

I hesitated "I-I'm ready to talk."

He straightened in his chair and indicated towards the chair in front of his desk. With a heavy heart, I walked towards the chair and took a seat. My hand fidgeted with the hem of my shirt.

"I've come up with a solution of sorts to this whole thing with Victoria. Immediately Edward and Alice declined, but, I don't know – I see it being a good idea."

"What is it, Bella?" Carlisle asked

"Being turned." I spoke quickly "They think I'm thinking irrationally. But I see it as a good thing."

"While a newborn would work in our advantage, I don't see it as being a smart timing. Bella, I see why Edward doesn't want this. He see's this life as damnation, and he doesn't want that for you."

"I see it as him not wanting to be with me," I whispered

Carlisle shook his head "My son is your mate, Bella. You simply can't live without each other. My son just believes you being human is what's best for you. I both agree and disagree with him."

"What do think we should do then? Victoria is going to continue to make a move towards me – till I'm dead and gone. I can't live with myself if something were to happen to any of you."

He shook his head once more, "Nothing is going to happen you us, Bella. We are a family, and you are part of this family, we are going to protect you."

"I both love and hate that." I whispered "I want nothing more then to protect myself."

"And that is understandable." Carlisle leaned forwards slightly "How are you dealing with all of this?"

"I feel like everything isn't working in my favor. Like I'm expecting the worst at every corner. I'm starting to wish that suicide attempt would've worked – then none of this would be happening to any of you. Edward was right to leave, I cause nothing but trouble for all of you."

"Bella, you are not the cause of this. Victoria is a deranged vampire, and no matter what, this would've happened." Carlisle sighed "I've contacted our friends in Denali, seeing if they are willing to help us – and so far they are. We are going to defeat this Bella."

"Thank you, Carlisle." I rose from my chair "I'm still thinking changing me would be a good thing. I could help – but maybe you're right. The timing isn't wise."

* * *

><p>Needing nothing more then a moment to myself, I walked out the back of the house and down the trail that I knew would lead to the meadow. My feet tripped and stumbled against the uneven ground as I neared the meadow Edward had shown me only a year ago. Even when he was gone, I would come and visit this place – only because it was the last that I had of him.<p>

Once I broke through the thin barrier of tress, I was welcomed to the beautiful sight of the meadow. A circle shaped clearing in the middle of the woods, where grass and wild flowers grew. I walked towards the log that sat towards the center, and took a seat, my back against it. Reaching into the pocket of my jeans, I pulled out a lighter and joint. If anything, I needed to relax, and this was perfect.

Placing the joint between my lips, I took a deep breath and took a long drag. I held the air in my lungs, feeling it burn, before exhaling out. The smoke swirling before me. I could hear the sounds of the forest around me, as I repeated what I had done before.

"Thought I would find you here,"

I let out a scream and turned around to see Edward walk through the break of trees. My heart accelerated at first in fear, thinking it was one of Victoria's newborns. But now it beat fast because he was here. I watched in amazement as he walked towards me, the sunlight causing his skin to glimmer slightly. That was something that never stopped to amaze me.

"How did you find me?" I whispered, as the smoke passed through my lips

He pointed to the join in my hand "The smell is stronger for vampires. Doesn't effect us much – Emmett's tried man a times."

I chuckled "Doesn't surprise me. What do you need Edward? Come to tell me once more of the bad decisions that I've made?"

He shook his head and didn't speak. Instead Edward continued to walked till he was sitting beside me. Edward and I sat there in silence, while I burned the joint between my fingers to nothing.

"We need to talk, about something." He spoke softly

"What?"

"I understand why you want me to change you, Bella." He started "But you must understand, I never wanted this life. Never, if I had the choice, would I be a vampire. The guilt that I care and the damnation that hangs over me, I don't want that for you."

"Edward, you've been making decisions for me – that you think are for the best of me." I spat turning towards him "You need to stop that, its driving me insane"

He chuckled lightly "I know, I understand that now."

"Do you not want to change me, because you'd be stuck with me? If that is what you think, I'll leave the moment Victoria is gone I'll -"

"Never." He growled

In the blink of an eye I found myself lying on the ground of the meadow. I could feel the grass against the backs of my arms. A gasp left my lips as I stared at Edward, as he hovered above me. His eyes were dark as night, but I didn't fear him. The look in his dark eyes wasn't hunger for my blood. It was love, lust and lose.

"Don't _ever_ say that again," Edward growled

"You left me, what else am I to think, Edward?" I whispered

"That I love you, god damn it. I left to protect you, Bella." He looked down over me "And see now that it was a mistake, and I regret it. I regret it deeply."

His hand moved up and caressed my cheek softly, and a look of utter despair crossed his face, as his eyes returned to mine.

"Will you ever forgive me?" He whispered "I know I don't deserve it, but do I at least have a chance, Bella?"

I nodded my head as I reached up and grabbed the back of his head, and brought his lips down to mine. We both let out a groan as our lips met. Edward settled more between my legs as we kissed each other passionately. Edwards has moved my side, before hiking my leg over his hip, pressing his groin against mine.

"Edward," I sighed softly

"I've missed you, even when you were right beside me." He whispered, his brows knitted together in anguish, like being separated from me pained him.

"I need you, so much, Edward." I whispered, the need evident in my voice.

I whimpered slightly as his lips descended onto mine once more. Our hands wandered each others bodies, slowly removing clothing. Edward rolled onto his back, with me straddling his waist, our lips still together. His cold hands moved up my back, before snapping my bra off, tossing it to the side wit the rest of our clothes. Edward pulled away from my lips, his eyes landing on my bare chest. Most would find offense, but the hungry look in Edward's eyes was almost too much.

"Fuck,"

He growled lowly, before reaching forward and taking one of my nipples into his mouth. I groaned as I felt his icy tongue wrap around my nipple, causing it to become erect. A shiver of desire ran down my spine as he kissed across my chest to the other.

"I've wanted you for so long, Bella." Edward whispered

"Take me, Edward."

A gasp left my lips as I found myself once again on my back, but with our clothes beneath me. I saw that our bottoms were removed, leaving us both bare to the other. A breeze went through the meadow, causing me to shutter slightly. My hands moved across Edward's shoulders as he kissed along my chest, and moved up towards my lips. I felt his cold touch on the backs of my thighs, as he pushed my legs apart, before thrusting into me.

We both let out moans of pleasure as he slowly moved within me. Soft cried left my lips as Edwards slow thrusts became fast and hard. Our hips moved together, trying to reach our climax as fast as possible. The need and lust that I had for Edward was too much, and I could feel my core tightening around him. Looking up towards him, I saw that his fangs were out, and knew that he would mark me once more.

"Oh, god." Edward growled "Fuck, you feel so damn good."

"Yes! Oh, fuck" I moaned, feeling my climax near

Edward growled low within his chest as my climax washed over me. I clenched around Edward, and gripped onto him tightly. He continued to thrust into me, before I felt him spill his seed into me, sending me into another. My neck craned to the side, as Edwards fangs sank into my skin. My loud scream of pleasure was the only thing I heard. I could feel the blood leaving my body, as Edward drank from me. But quickly, he pulled away from me, my blood smeared across his lips. My breath was labored, and I curled up next to Edward, after he moved to lie down on the ground beside me. My heart was hammering wildly, as we both lied there in the meadow, the sun starting the set.

"I love you, Edward." I whispered softly

"I love you, too. More then you will ever know"

**-please review-**

**Charlie's Note: Too weird? Edward and Bella finally did it, I know a few of you have been wanting that. And yes, Edward and Bella are finally over him leaving and together. But, what will happen next. Will update again when I can. I'm so sorry for these late updates. They are not on purpose, I swear.**

**Tumblr: m-marylou **


	21. Reneesme

**Do you love me?  
>Can you love mine?<br>Nobody's a picture perfect  
>But we're worth it<strong>

**You know that we're worth it  
>Will you love me?<br>Even with my dark side?**

Dark Side by Kelly Clarkson

Cheated Myself

Chapter Twenty One – Reneesme

Edward Cullen; Forks, WA

After lying there with Bella for a while, we both got dressed and headed back towards the house. Bella jumped into my arms and wrapped her legs around my waist, before I shot off into the woods. We were back home in a matter of minutes, and I dropped Bella softly to the floor. Looking down towards her face, I saw the satisfied smile on her face, the smell of sex still lingering on her skin. It was like a mark, of many others, to vampires that she was taken.

"Are you ok?" I asked,

She sighed "I'm more then ok,"

My hand caressed her neck and pushed it to the side where I could see the mark I left of her neck. My puncture marks were still an angry red, and I knew that it had to hurt. Bringing my wrist up to my lips, I sank my fangs into the vein beneath the skin and slowly thrust it towards her lips. She smiled, before wrapping her lips around the wound. Bella moaned and gripped onto my wrist as she drank from me. I could feel the bond we had together, the mating bond, grow stronger as she pulled away from me. She whipped the corner of her lips, before smiling back towards me.

"Thank you,"

"I-I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Bella shook her head, and stepped towards me, wrapping her arm around my neck "No, you didn't hurt me. You _have_ made me on satisfied woman."

I smirked and bent down and kissed her passionately on the lips. Bella moaned and stumbled back slightly as I walked us into the house. Her back slammed against the back door, and we both pulled away from each other, chuckled and laughs leaving out lips.

"It feels different now," Bella spoke "I feel different now"

"How?" I asked, confused

She shrugged "I don't know, it's like everything that was holding me down and making me unhappy was uplifted. It was like you fucked it out of me, literally."

I couldn't help but laugh at Bella's bluntness, but was also happy to hear that she was better. I wanted my Bella back, and it was like I was getting a peek of her finally. The two of us walked into the house, and already, I could tell that something was off. It was empty, for one, and there was a scent. A scent that wasn't normal.

"Edward, what's wrong?" Bella asked

I hesitated "Something…isn't right…"

Pulling Bella close to me, I began to walk towards the front of the house. The front door was let wide open. Stepping forward, I closed it shut and locked the door.

"Edward," Bella spoke – fear in her voice. "Something doesn't feel right."

I stepped toward her and caressed her cheek softly; I could see the fear in her eyes.

"Listen to me, go to my room, lock the door and don't open it for anyone but me." I kissed her forehead "Some has been here, and its not familiar."

Bella kissed me once more, before turning on her heels and running towards my bedroom. Walking towards the kitchen, I followed the smell of the scent back towards the garage. I stumbled in the doorway, when I saw Rosalie. She was lying on the floor, a stake through her stomach. Her eyes were focused on me.

"E-Edward," She whimpered "H-Help…"

Rushing forward, I knelt down beside her and grabbed at the stake, slowly ripping it from her body. She let out a scream and let out a growl.

"Fuck!" She screamed, and rolled onto her side "Shit! I'm going to kill that bitch!"

"Wha-what happened?"

"Jasper and Emmett went for a hunt, while Alice left with Esme and Carlisle to get the Denali's from the airport. Once they left, I was jumped. Some stupid bitch with brown hair jumped." Rosalie panted slightly, obviously still in pain

I watched as she lifted up her shirt, and watched as the stake wound started to heal. She sighed heavily and we both stood up from the garage floor. I looked into Rosalie's thought and saw the girl she was speaking of. The scent that was through-out the house was obviously from the newborn. She has dark red eyes and was small, almost child like. She has red brown hair , and stood no taller then 5' 4''.

"What was she hear for?"

Rosalie stared towards me "Bella. She staked me after I didn't tell her where to find Bella. Surprised that that stupid cunt didn't stake me in the heart – not that I'm ungrateful."

A scream came from two stories above us, and it only took me three seconds to know that it was Bella. I shot up the stairs quickly and pushed my bedroom door wide open.

* * *

><p><strong>Isabella Swan<strong>

I looked up towards the body before me, and could feel my heart beating within my chest. The red eyes looked down at me with curiosity and something in them were mischievous. I never saw this girl before but something about her made her seem familiar.

"Hello, Bella." She spoke – her voice sounding almost musical "You don't know me, but you do know of my friend. Jacob, remember him? Well, I'm here to finish what he couldn't."

He grip on my neck was tight, that I almost couldn't breathe. But the moment she loosened her grip, just enough, I let out a blood curling scream. It as only for a second or two, before she grabbed at my throat again. My eyes bugged out and began to water as I felt the oxygen slowly started to leave my body. The sound of the bedroom door slamming open was heard only seconds after my scream, and knew that it was Edward.

My eyes rolled into the back of my head, as two growls were heard. The new born above me soon was gone, and Rosalie came into view. She was speaking, but I couldn't hear her. Everything was like it was underwater.

"Bella! Bella!" Rosalie screamed

"Ro-Rose," I croaked

She helped me up, and I saw Edward standing before the newborn, his grip tight around her neck and held up against the wall. She was laughing in way that made chills run up and down my spine. My throat felt raw and knew that bruises were going to form around my neck.

"Edward, leave her alive." Rosalie spoke, "We could use her,"

"I'm not helping you, bitch."

"Who are you?" Edward growled

"Renesmee," I spoke, my voice raw and dry "She's Jacob's girlfriend."

**-Please Review-**

**Charlie's Note: **Sorry if that went by too quickly. This is really just supposed to be short and a sweet filler before the big shit starts going down. THEY HAVE NESSIE! Update when I can, and hope to hear from my readers.

**Tumblr: m-marylou**


	22. Kidnapping

Cheated Myself

_Chapter Twenty Two - Kidnapped_

_Isabella Swan; Forks, WA – Cullen House_

I saw in the living room beside Esme as she tended to my neck wounds. When Renesmee was chocking me, her nails cut into my skin, leaving four angry scratch marks on the side of my neck. I hissed lowly as Esme dabbed the wound with a cotton swap dipped in rubbing alcohol. The pain passed quickly and I sat patiently as she placed butterfly bandages on them.

From downstairs I knew Edward, Jasper, Rose and Carlisle were dealing with Renesmee. Screams of pain could be heard from the basement, and I could only imagine what they were doing to her. A part of me felt sorry for the girl. She didn't ask for any of this. She was just another pawn in Victoria's game.

Esme stood from the couch and cleaned up the small mess she left on the coffee table, leaving me in the room with Alice. Alice was sitting on the love seat and looked towards me with sympathy.

"Are you alright?" She asked

I nodded my head "They don't hurt as bad as they look."

"I don't understand why I didn't see her coming. The moment Victoria made the decision, I should've seen it."

"I think you and I both know the answer to that," I sighed heavily "This isn't going to end well."

"You're telling me." Alice chuckled drily

Another scream of agony came up ro the basement, causing a shutter to ring through my body. Alice sighed and shook her head, before looking towards me.

"Rose is having too much fun with this."

"The girl did stake her," I shrugged "Rose isn't going to take that lightly."

"That's another thing I don't understand. Why didn't Renesmee kill Rose? Why just wound her instead?"

"Again, something that I don't know," I rose up from my seat "I wanna know what they are doing."

"Bella, no!"

I ignored Alice and continued to walk towards the kitchen and towards the basement door. Before I could even reach the door, Edward pushed it open and stood before me. My steps stopped short as he looked down towards me. A unreadable expression was upon his face.

"Edward I wanna –"

"No, Bella." He interrupted "I'm not letting you go down there."

"Why? I want to talk to her,"

"And say what? She is trying to kill you,"

"Is she restrained?" Edward nodded "Then we are good."

I walked around him and towards the door and quickly headed down towards the basement. From behind me, I could hear Edward following behind me. Once I finally reached the bottom step, the whole entire basement came into view. Renesmee was strapped down to a chair with silver metal cuffs wrapped around her wrist. Rosalie was standing beside her with a smirk on her lips. Renesmee was slaked back in the seat and had blood staining the front of her shirt. She looked to have gone through hell and back.

"Bella, you shouldn't be done here." Carlisle spoke quickly.

"I have every right to be down here, Carlisle." I spoke firmly, and then looked towards Renesmee.

Her red eyes glared towards me, and a vicious snarl left her lips. Edward stepped beside me, and placed a protective hand around my shoulder.

"She can't touch you," He whispered

I nodded my head and walked towards Renesmee. The closer I got, the darker her eyes seemed to grow and the louder her snarls became.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't little Ms. Bella." Renesmee spoke darkly

"What does Victoria want with me?" I asked, ignoring her comment.

"She wants you dead." Renesmee spoke "An eye for an eye. Edward killed James, and now she wants you dead."

"What do you have to gain from all this?"

Renesmee chuckled "Oh, you are so stupid. Just as naïve as she explained. She already gave me the end of the deal. Immortal life, and a forever with Jacob. Victoria plans on getting what she wants. She's already created an army to get you."

"What's her plan?" Carlisle asked

Renesmee chuckled again, and it caused a chill to run down my spine. Rosalie rolled her eyes and stepped forward and injected something into Renesmee's shoulder, causing her to slump forward.

"What did you do?!" I shouted towards her.

"Knocked her out, she isn't going to tell us anything." Rosalie explained, while Jasper and Carlisle moved to remove Renesmee.

"So what? You're just going to burn her?"

Edward nodded his head "That's exactly what we are going to do."

I watched as Carlisle and Jasper walked past me, Renesmee is Jasper's arms. I turned towards Edward and let out a heavy sign. But he was gone before I even fully turned around.

"We are doing this to protect you, Bella." Rosalie spoke from beside me.

"What if I don't want it? This would all be better if I were just gone."

"And then my brother would either be depressed as fuck, or dead." She glared down towards me. "We are saving your ass here, Swan."

"I didn't ask for that,"

"No," She nodded agreeing "But Edward did. And he's my brother. And if keeping you safe is the only thing keeping him alive, then trust me. I'll be protecting you from Victoria like you're the god damn president."

* * *

><p>I felt suffocated. I sat in Edward's bedroom, the smoke from outside blocking the large window. Renesmee was dead, and part of me was sad. She was Jake's girlfriend, and whether or not he was he Jake I used to know, he was still my best friend. I watched from the bed as the smoked traveled up towards the sky and disappearing the higher it went.<p>

"Are you ok?"

I looked over my shoulder and saw Jasper standing in the doorway. I smiled towards him and turned to look back towards the window.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I hesitated "Shouldn't you be outside?"

He shrugged "I felt your sorrow from downstairs, wanted to make sure you were ok."

I smiled "Thanks, that's really sweet of you Jasper."

Jasper walked till he took a seat beside me on the bed. He sighed slightly and turned towards me. The moment I looked towards him, the smile faded from my face. His eyes – they were red.

"Jasper?"

Before the full thought could leave my lips, I was pressed against the wall with his grip tight on my wrist. I watched in horror as who I thought was Jasper shifted into Riley. A silent scream left my lips as he smirked mischievously towards me.

"Someone has been waiting for you," He spoke, his voice dark "I'm sure you know exactly who I am talking about."

Riley ripped me away from the wall and kicked the window open, before jumping out, pulling me out with him. I tried to let out a scream, but nothing was coming out due to the grip around my bruised neck. Before I knew it Riley was running away from the Cullen home, and I knew I was being taken to Victoria. Already, my worst nightmare was coming true.

**-Please Review-**

**Charlie Notes: So, Bella is kidnapped, and Riley is a shifter. More to come soon.**

**Blog: Bellesstories **_(link on profile)_


	23. Captive

Cheated Myself

_Chapter Twenty Three - Captive_

_Unknown Warehouse – Forks, WA_

Under Victoria's orders, Riley brought Bella straight to Victoria. He felt a sense of pride – as he was the only one of her minions to actually succeed in brining the human to her. When he walked through the door, he could hear Jacob shouting at someone. Riley rolled his eyes and continued towards the room they already set up for Bella. Not being anyway gentle, he the threw Bella down onto the bed, and fastened the straps around her wrists and ankles She was still knocked out cold from when he hit her, a sick smirk went across his lips as he started down at her.

He couldn't help the thoughts the entered his mind. Riley wanted Bella, in a more sexual way then most. He'd watch her throw herself at any man down at his bar, and wanted to be one of those men. Just as he was going to make a move, he heard the door behind him open. Turning around, he saw Laurent standing in the door way.

"You actually got her? How did you slip past the Cullen's?"

Instead of speaking an explanation, Riley transformed him self again, shifting to look just like Jasper Hale. Laurent's eyes widened slightly, only hearing of Riley's gift, but never believing the nonsense that came out of Victoria's mouth. But quickly as he did before, Riley shifted back to his normal form.

"Well, guess that parlor trick would come in handy," Laurent's red eyes shifted from the sleeping girl; back to Riley "I thought Renesmee went with you. Where is she?"

Riley sighed "She was caught by them; she was ripped apart and burned."

Laurent hissed "Those animals, killing their own kind. Jake's not going to like this."

"I'm sure he'll be even more pissed when he knows Edward's the one that caught her."

Laurent nodded his head and Riley passed him out of the room. Laurent shot his eyes to the girl once more, a feeling of guilt washing over him, before it disappeared. The door closed tight behind him before he headed towards the front part of the warehouse. Jacob's screams had calmed down from earlier and he was left pouting in the corner.

"Is it true? Did you get her?" Jacob asked

Riley smirked, cockiness oozing from his body "Of course I did. I succeeded at something you couldn't do."

"Where is Nessie?"

"Burning still, I'm guessing. Cullen's chopped her up and set her on fire." Riley spoke with no compassion in his voice.

* * *

><p><em>Isabella Swan<em>

My head was groggy and heavy; the left side was pounding at its own beat and aching with every pulse. I tried to move my limbs, but found that I was impossible. My heart began to beat erratically with panic as I tugged and pulled on the restraints, finding them unable to budge at any way. I also found myself to be encased in blackness. It only took me a moment to know something was placed over my eyes. I felt tear prick to my eyes as I began to be taken over with fear and panic.

"Ah, the sweet blood bag has wakened." A feline like voice spoke, _Victoria_.

I felt her come towards me and hover over my body, her sweat breath tickling my cheeks. The tears that welled up to my eyes before began to fall down my temples as a fast rate. I knew that was going to be my end. I could feel it deep down.

"Oh, don't cry sweet Bella." She lightly ran her fingers down the center line of my chest. My breath caught in my chest "But maybe you should. You must know of the pain that is to come?"

"P-Please…"

"Shut up!" Victoria wrapped her fingers around my already bruised neck "I don't want to hear your pathetic pleading and whining."

Her nails scratched across my skin as she pulled her hand back, the sounds of her footsteps walking away from me being the only thing I could hear.

"You should know, your dear friend, Jacob…he's dead." She voiced "Now that I have you, he became useless."

My breath hitched in my throat. _No, not Jake_.

"Put him out of his misery really. Since your beloved Cullen's killed his girlfriend." She spoke as if their names were acid on her tongue.

Once again I felt her come up beside me, her weight cause the bed to dip slightly, before I felt her weight on my waist. Victoria leaned over me and ran her nose down my neck, before pulling back.

"I get why Cullen wants you, Bella." She spoke slowly "You smell divine."

"Please, Victor-."

The force of her slap sent my head straight to the side and a cry left my lips as I felt the pain rush to the surface. My lips quivered as I cried heavily for her force. With my head to the side, I could feel her nail cutting into the side of my neck. A blood curling scream left my lips as I felt the blood trickle down my neck.

"Ah, yes, there it is."

Next I felt Victoria lean over towards my neck and lick the blood away. She moaned slightly from the taste, and continued to suck away the escaping blood.

"Oh, god." She moaned as she pulled back completely "Your blood has got to be the sweetest that I've ever tasted."

Only reply was a whimper as I felt her then sink her teeth into my wrist that was held up above my head. I tried to fight against her, even when I knew that it was useless. Soon I started to feel my consciousness slip before the darkness took me completely.

* * *

><p>I don't know how long I had been out, or what time it was, but the blind fold was taken off my eyes the next time they open. The moon light is shining into the room and everything is cast in an eerie glow. My limbs were still bound against the rails of the bed, and I could feel the blood caked on the side of my neck and against my arm. When I went to move my head, I could feel the tender bruise across my cheek and eye from where Victoria hit me from before.<p>

The tears came quickly and I cried to myself. I wanted nothing more then for Edward to come, for him to come and save me. But then again, I wanted to be able to save myself. I wanted to be able to get out of this and not have to worry about any of the Cullen's coming here.

Pulling on my wrist, I tried once again to pull my wrist free. But it was useless. My heart stopped when I heard the door open, and I looked to see Laurent walk into the room. In his hands was a tray with little food on it. His face was blank as he walked over and undid my legs and wrists. A hiss of pain passed my lips as he helped me up and sat me up on the bed, then put the tray by me.

"Food for you." He spoke

"Why are you helping me?" I whispered my voice hoarse from screaming and crying.

"Because I might not agree with Victoria." Laurent closed his eyes "She lost her mate, but she doesn't act like it."

"W-Will you help me out of here?" I asked

Laurent hesitated "I will try."

I smiled towards him and whispered a soft thank you before I reached over and grabbed the food he'd brought for me. I ate quietly, and Laurent stayed with me, till I was finished. He strapped me down back into the position before, and I actually fell back asleep. I hoped to get out of her with Laurent's help, before the Cullen's even tried to find me. I didn't want them fighting for something that was sole about me.

**-Please Review-**

**Charlie's Note: Only a few more chapters left, 10 or so left about. I made a soundtrack for this fanfic and it's posted on my site **_(link on profile)_**. I hope you all enjoyed it, and more of Victoria's game playing to come soon. **

**Tumblr:bellesstories**


	24. Trying to Save Yourself

Cheated Myself

_Chapter Twenty Three – Trying to Save Yourself_

_Unknown Warehouse – Forks, WA_

It felt like days till Laurent came back to the room. He unwrapped me from the bed, before handing me a glass of water. He told me how Victoria was waiting for the Cullen's to come for me before she made her move, what that was, he didn't know. My body was starting to break down from the abuse. Bruises wrapped around my ankles and wrists from the ropes, and even had rope burn. My neck had scratches and cut from where Victoria fed from me. My inner thighs were sore and worn down from me fighting against the binds. But I could also feel the affects of not eating enough or drinking enough water. Laurent was barely able to come to me, and I'd been here for a while. Victoria was purposely making me weak.

"Wake up,"

I cried out as I felt Victoria slap me across the face, jolting my body awake from the sleep. Tears pricked to my eyes as I tilted my head towards her. Her lips were turned up in a mischievous smirk, and her red eyes looked down towards me with hunger. Reaching up towards the headboard, she untied my wrists and pulled me up into a sitting position.

"I have a present for you," Victoria whispered

"Wh-what?" I muttered

"You're lover boy is coming. Riley has been watching them for a while; he's on his way here." She hissed in my ear.

"Edward?" I whimpered

"I can't wait to see his face when he see's what I've done. To see that I've tasted your blood" Victoria ripped me up from the bed "Then he can watch you die, and lose you as I've lost James."

The wave of fear went through my weak body, as she pulled me down the hall and towards the main part of the warehouse. She threw me on the floor before the couch and walked towards the wide open door. I could see the tops of tress, so there was a guess we were on one of the high floors. Rising up from the floor, I moved to lean against one of the chairs sitting randomly about the room. Victoria was speaking lowly towards Riley, not even paying attention to me. Laurent walked into the room, and shifted his eyes towards me, before clearing his throat.

"What?" Victoria snapped

"They are close. I ran a quick territory run, and could smell them closing in. I sense they should be here in about twenty minutes."

Victoria smirked "Good. Let them come, we are ready."

"You're out numbered. Its three to seven, you will get yourself killed."

"Listen here human, we have something against them, and trust me, I'll be using it to my advantage," Victoria spoke

"And what would that be?" I whispered

"You, my sweet blood bag,"

* * *

><p>Edwards the first to arrive at the warehouse, the moment he stepped inside, he could smell Bella's blood. A snarl ripped through him as he sped up the stairs and towards her scent. In his head he could hear Jasper and Alice telling him to slow down. The three of them, along with Emmett were the only ones to come. Carlisle stayed behind with Esme and Rosalie preparing the home for whatever care Isabella would need when she came back. They were all more then confident that Edward and the others would get Isabella back.<p>

"Victoria!" Edward screamed, the anger emanating from his voice.

When he blew through the door of the third floor and saw her standing there. Bella was tight in her grasps, tears in her eyes and body shaking from the fear coursing through her body. It took everything in his power to hold himself back from shooting across the room and rip Victoria apart. But his logical side knew that even the slightest.

"Nice of you to join us, Edward," Victoria spoke "I'm a little surprised you took so long."

"Let her go,"

"You and I both know that isn't going to happen." Victoria ripped Bella's neck to the side "Have you tasted her yet? She's simply divine."

Just as her fangs sunk into Bella's neck, Edward shot across the room and ripped Victoria away from Victoria's grasp. Edward and Victoria became a blur to Bella as she fell to the ground in a heap. She felt someone come up beside her and saw that it was Laurent; he helped her off the floor. He knew that since Victoria was ever occupied with Edward, and Alice and Jasper with Riley, he would be able to uphold his promise to help her out.

"Come, we must go, now."

"But…Edward…"

"I'll get him later. But Victoria, if she slips just once, she will kill you."

Just as Laurent wrapped his arm around Bella's waist, and helped her off the floor, Alice and Jasper already had Riley in pieces and noticed Laurent. They boxed the two in, looking towards Laurent with eyes of hate.

"Where do you think you are going?" Jasper growled

"J-Jasper…he's hel-helping."

Bella's eyes rolled into the back of her head, and she fell slump in Laurent's arms. Behind them, Edward had the upper hand on Victoria, and had his grasp around her neck. The rage that was building up inside his body over the last few days finally erupted as he ripped Victoria's head off her shoulders. His vision was nothing but red as her body fell to pieces by his hand.

"Edward! Edward!"

His sister's cries broke through his mind set, and he snapped his eyes towards her. She looked towards him as if she never knew him, and at the moment, she didn't never had she seen her brother like this. But she knew the worry and rage he had towards Victoria kidnapping his mate.

"She's dead, Edward. You killed her," Alice spoke

"Bella?" He shot up from the floor "Where is she?"

"She passed out. Jasper already ran her back to Carlisle. But…you have to calm down before you see her. You can't be like this when you see her."

Edward nodded and worked with Alice on disposing of both Riley and Victoria's bodies. As he watched their body's burn in the wild flames, and the moment he knew they would never return to endanger his mate, Edward ran off towards his mate.

* * *

><p>"Bella! Bella!" I shouted as I ran into the room.<p>

From above, I could hear Carlisle upstairs with her. I was upstairs and outside the bedroom, the door closed, and I could hear Carlisle better.

"She has a cracked rip, and a few cuts and bruises, but nothing too bad."

Esme sighed softly "This shouldn't have happened to her. What do you think Edward is going to do?"

"I don't know, but more and more, I'm thinking Bella was right to be changed."

I knocked twice on the door before opening it; both Esme and Carlisle looked towards me as I walked through the archway. Bella was laid out on the bed, her chest slowly rising and falling as she slept. My heart clenched in pain as I saw the state she was in. Her beautiful pale skin littered in cuts and bruises.

"Bella," He whispered agony in his voice, and moved to sit beside her

Esme and Carlisle left without a word, leaving Bella and I alone. Bella sighed softly in her sleep, and moved towards me like magnets. I moved to lie beside her, and held her beside my body – sighing deeply when I felt her body pressed against mine once more.

**-Please Review-**

**Tumblr: bellesstories**


	25. Very Important Note! Please Read

**Dear Readers;**

_As of yesterday morning, my laptop has been broken. My mother accidentally spilled sugar all over it - rendering it useless. So, I have nothing to write with/update the stories with. I'm using her computer now, but she doesn't have a .doc for me to write with - and even if she did, I wouldn't have the use of this long enough to actually update them all._

_I'm really pissed - but mostly because I'm not able to update for you lovely people. I have no idea when/how I'm going to get a new laptop so please bare with me._

_I'll update when I can, but __I'll be keeping everyone updated on my blog for all my fanfics. The link is on my profile. Also, you can come and ask me anything about the stories and follow the blog. _

**_xoxo,_**

**_Charlie_**


	26. The Change

**Cheated Myself**

_Chapter Twenty Four – The Change_

_Cullen Residence – Forks, WA_

The next time I opened my eyes, I knew that I was no longer at the warehouse Victoria had me in. I was back in the Cullen house, in Edward's bedroom. My head was pounding and felt like a 500 ton boulder was sitting on my head. Slowing sitting up on the bed, I looked around, and saw that I was alone in the room. The large window across from the bed was left open, and I was able to see the woods covered in the eerie light from the moon.

My hand reached up and moved some of the hair from my face, and my finger tips ran across the bite marks Victoria left on the curve of my neck. Tears began to well up in my eyes as everything that had happened came back to my conscious mind. Her drinking from me, the abuse she put upon my body. It was almost too much, and I wanted nothing more then for it to be whipped from my mind.

I cupped my hand over my mouth to muffle the cries that were escaping me. I knew Edward and the rest of the Cullen's weren't far. And if any of them knew I was awake, my moment alone would be cut short. I needed a moment alone; to let this all sink in. _Victoria is gone, she can't hurt you anymore_. _Edward killed her; she is no longer a threat_. That was repeated into my mind like an over playing record, but it didn't stop the tears. I sat there for what felt like forever, till a soft knock was heard on the door.

"Bella? Love?"

Edward cracked the door open and looked towards me with sympathetic eyes. I tried to wipe the tears away as fast as I could, but I knew Edward had seen them. He walked towards me till he sat down beside me on the bed. He didn't speak, just wrapped his arms around me, knowing that nothing he said would help. Just the feeling of being in his arms was enough.

"I'm guessing Victoria is dead?" I whispered

"Yes," Edward spoke, his voice gentle "I killed her."

"Good."

I had no remorse for her. She was a truly evil person, and nothing about her was at all good or deserved sympathy. Victoria needed to be killed – and now she and James can be together where they truly belong – hell.

"I'm so sorry I didn't get to you sooner, Bella." Edward whispered, holding me tighter.

"You don't have to be sorry, Edward. There is nothing that is your fault."

He shook his head "We didn't even know where you were till Alice had a vision, finally, it was like the shield had been lifted."

I buried my face into his chest "She killed Jacob the moment she got what she wanted."

"I know," Edward lightly brushed the hair from my face "We think he was the shield."

I paused for a moment, before speaking "What are we going to do now?"

"I don't know…" Edward sighed "Carlisle…he…well he brought up what you talked to him about. Being changed?"

"You don't want it Edward, you don't have to say anything," I pulled away from him, and stood from the bed.

"That's just it Bella, after everything that has happened sine I've come back, it's brought to my attention how much danger you truly are in. It was the reason I left in the first time."

My heart stopped and my eyes widened "Are you…are you leaving me again."

Edward shook his head "No, I'll never make that mistake again Bella."

He moved closer to me and brought me into his arms. Brushing my hair off my shoulder, he exposed the mark Victoria left. I jumped slightly when I heard his fangs descend from his gums, before he pricked his finger, then dropping the blood to the mark on my neck. I knew he was healing me, making everything she did to me go away forever.

"Do you want me forever Edward?" I asked my voice soft.

"Always, love."

"I've always wanted that since the moment I knew what you were, and that I loved you," I wrapped my arms around his shoulder "Edward, I-I know you don't want this, so don't do it cause you feel guilty. I only want you to change me if _you_ want it."

"My beautiful Bella," Edward caressed my cheek "I want you with me, forever. I see that now. The thought of being in this world without you, nearly killed me."

I ran my fingers through his hair, before kissing him passionately. His grip moved up towards my waist, and pulled me down to straddle his waist. At one point we had to pull away from each other so that I could catch a breath. Edward's lips stayed on my neck, and sucked lightly on the skin.

"Marry me, Bella." He whispered against my neck

I stiffened "What?" I pulled back from him and looked down towards him "What did you say?"

"Marry me. The one thing I want is for you to be my wife, my forever." Edward's lips turned up into a smile "So, will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

My heart stopped and I didn't even know what to think. Mrs. Isabella Marie Cullen. The sound of that made me more then happy. But what about Charlie? I lost him already, and my true family was with the Cullen's.

"I want nothing more then to marry you, Edward." I smiled and kissed him on the lips

"Really?" He smiled brightly when I pulled away "You'll marry me?"

Edward moved me onto the bed, and rushed towards the dresser he had against the wall to the left of the bed. A smile was permanently on his flawless face as he moved towards me, a little velvet box in his palm. My heart skipped a beat as he dropped onto one knee and then opened the ring box. A gasp escaped my lips as the most gorgeous ring came into view. It was a small diamond ring set in sterling silver vintage band. Delicate engravings were on the side of the band, the larger diamond surrounded by smaller ones.

"Edward," I whispered as I looked up towards him "It's beautiful."

"It was my mother, Elizabeth's. She left it to me, after she died." He removed it from the box, and gently grabbed my hand, slipping it on my ring finger "And now, it's yours."

"I love you so much, Edward."

I kissed him passionately on the lips before he could even respond. He dropped me back onto the bed, and hovered over my body as he continued to kiss my lips lovingly. My hands moved up and pulled his shirt from his body. Even when we pulled apart from each other, as I pulled the shirt over his head, our lips found their way back to each other. My hands grazed over his cool skin, feeling the hardness of his muscles beneath my touch.

"We shouldn't do this," Edward whispered against my lips "You only…"

"I want to." I interrupted him "I'm ok, Edward, I promise."

He looked down into my eyes, looking for any sign that I was lying. And he wasn't going to find anything. After everything that had happened with Victoria, I knew that I was going to be fine – and that everything was going to be fine. I had Edward, and he had me. Nothing would ever not be ok, if he was always by my side.

"Where us your family?" I asked, caressing his cheek softly.

"Alice thought it would be wise if we had a few hours alone. Didn't wanna over bear you." He sighed "They took Laurent to the Denali Clan."

"He stayed?"

Edward nodded "He wanted to make sure that you were safe, and would stay safe. Once he knew that you were – Carlisle advised for him to stay with the Denali's. Learn the way of hunting animals instead of humans."

"Good, that means we have until…tomorrow morning alone?" I smirked. Edward nodded. "I need you, Edward. Make me forget everything…"

We returned to how we were before, our lips locked together in a passionate kiss, as our hands explored each other's bodies. Edward reached down and pulled my shirt off, and then began to kiss down my neck. A loud gasp leaving my lips as he tore my bra from my body, his icy tongue wrapping around my erect nipple.

"Edward," I moaned

"I love your tits so much, Bella" Edward whispered, looking up at me through his lashes "Mostly because my mark is right, here."

A shutter ran down my spine as he traced his mate mark on my breast with his tongue. My fingers weaved their way through his hair, and gripped tightly as he slowly made his way down my body, pulling my yoga pants down along with my underwear. A small whimper left my lips as he spread my legs apart, settling my right leg upon his shoulder, before he kissed my inner thigh lightly. I looked down and waited with much anticipation was Edward teased me, his cold breath tickling against my clit.

My back arched off the bed as he took my clit between his lips. I reached down and gripped the back of his head as Edward began to lick my pussy, as his fingers slowly began to fuck me. Moans of pleasure left my lips as Edward worked me close to my climax. But before I could find the satisfaction, Edward pulled away, smirking down toward me – his once ember eyes now a dark onyx. Usually when they were this dark, it was for hunger. Hunger for blood – sometimes my own. But this time, they were dark from a lustful kind of hunger.

"Edward," I moaned "I want you to change me, now."

He froze "Now? But what about…don't…don't you want to say good-bye to Charlie? Do any last minute things as a human?"

I shook my head "No. I've already lost Charlie. I want to be with you, forever, please."

Edward moved back up towards me and kissed me lightly on the lips, before kissing the small spot behind my ear.

"Are you sure?" Edward whispered

I nodded my head "Make loves to me, then change me."

Quickly, Edward flipped us over, and settled me on his waist, as he began to quickly pull down his pants. We both moaned together as I slowly sunk down onto his length, feeling my walls clench around him. I waited a moment, getting used to his size, before I began to move above him, his hips moving up to meet mine. My hands were planted on his chest, my nails scrapping against his rock hard skin. My head fell back as loud moans left from between my lips. Being with Edward was like a drug, it was a high that I never could get enough of.

"Ah, Edward," I moved my left hand up to tease my breast "Feel so fucking good,"

Edward pulled me down towards him chest, before kissing me hungrily, and flipping me onto my back. He moved my right leg up against his chest when he pulled back, causing him to sink deeper within me, and hit my g-spot at just right. His name was heard as a scream as he erratically began to thrust within me. He was letting the vampire within him let go, letting his "monster" out as Edward would say. His fangs gleamed in the light as he threw his head back and let out a dark growl, and then looked down towards me. Watching and hearing him only seemed to turn me on even more.

He kissed me, lightly nipping the skin of my lower lip, before pulling back – his thrusts slowing down to a torturing pace. It only seemed to make the knot at the pit of my stomach tighten even more, a small orgasm washing over me. I whimpered as Edward moved out of me, only to flip me onto my hands and knees, and thrusting hard into me once again. He brushed my hair away from the right side and kissed my neck, before pulling away from me.

"Edward….please, oh, god. I'm so fucking close." I moaned and looked at him over my shoulder.

"I can feel you clenching around me, Isabella." He moved closer to me "I'm just fighting the urge to not drink from you as you cum,"

I bit on my lower lip to hold back the moan that was fighting to break through. From behind me, as he continued to fuck me from behind, I could hear Edward bit into his wrist, before thrusting it towards my lips. I knew what he was doing. To become a vampire, you had to die with a vampire's blood in your system. Eagerly, I took his wrist between my lips and drank from him, before the wound closed up.

Once his wrist was pulled away, Edward grabbed my waist and began to move into me harder and faster. He reached around and began to rub my clit. My orgasm was close, and I was begging for him to let me cum. I felt him kiss me neck, before I felt the pinching feeling of him sinking his fangs into my neck. That was the one thing to send me over the edge. Edward held me tight to his chest as I reached my climax as he drank from me.

"Yes! Yes! Edward," I gripped the hand he held against my breast "I love you, Edward."

He thrust into me two more times, pulling his fangs from my neck, cumming deep within my pussy. I moaned lowly as we both fell onto the bed, my body glistening all over my body, and my blood all over Edward's lips. Once he pulled out of me, he turned me onto my back and hovered above me. My lids were heavy, and he looked down towards me, his eyes returned to normal – but with a small glint of red.

"Thank you," I whispered softly "Thank you for this, Edward."

His lips turned up in a crooked smile, my smile. "Anything for you, my love."

"You have to…kill me now?" I spoke softly

Edward nodded, the smile gone slightly "You'll wake in about twelve hours, and I'll be here the whole time. I won't leave you Bella."

A smile crossed my lips, as I reached up and caressed his cheek softly. Edward licked his lips before bending down and kissed me lightly on the lips, before moving down and licking the blood on the side of my neck. I moaned as he sank his fangs deep into my neck once more. I felt him grip tightly onto my body as he drank from me, his cock growing erect once more as he drank my blood hungrily. My consciousness was slipping and I could feel the blood slowly leaving my body. My heart slowly dying. At one point, before it all went dark, Edward pulled away after closing up the wound.

"I love you, Isabella." He whispered softly, before everything went dark.

**-Please Review-**

Charlie's Note: So, I found a way to update – even though I still don't have a laptop. So, I'm updating once more in the night, and it's going to be the epilogue. Its going to jump about a year into the future, might be the wedding, might not? I don't fully know yet. But I'm for certain, Cheated Myself is ending tonight. No sequel. But I will tell you. My new fic: The Devils Three is coming out this weekend. It's going to be something new, and amazing.

So, also, come and visit me at my tumblr blog: BellesStories. I take questions; you can see banners/updates/teasers/sneak peeks. I UPDATE DAILY. The link is on my page. Thank you so much for sticking by me and it means so much you don't even know


	27. Fifteen Years Later

**Cheated Myself**

_Chapter Twenty Five – Fifteen Years Later_

_Cullen Residence – Northern Maine_

It's been fifteen years since Edward changed me, thirteen since we've been married. The moment I opened my eyes, I knew this was meant to be. Me, a vampire. The thirst was the worse of it; I killed a couple three weeks after the change. Edward tried to comfort me, but I nearly destroyed his bedroom when I realized what I had done. That was the only time I had ever tasted human blood. But that was a long time ago and much has changed.

Like the fact we not long live in Forks, WA. The Cullen's and I left soon after my change. And if you are wondering about Charlie, no he never went looking for me. He gave up hope you could say. There wasn't a big search for the Chiefs daughter. But it wasn't surprising; Charlie had given up on me a long time ago. So to him, that fact that I went missing, wasn't surprising. But Alice kept me updated at times. Even though Charlie and I had a falling out and a rough end, but he was my father, and I loved him.

Two years after my change, the family packed and headed towards Alaska to stay with the Denali clan. It was there Edward and I had a small family wedding in the snow, it was great to be standing bare foot in the snow, and it not effect me. Alice planned the whole thing, and she made it look like something out of a Disney movie. My dress was white, naturally, and had white lace detailing. A small fabric train followed me as I walked down the aisle; everything was white, matching my dress and the snow perfectly.

Edward and I took a trip to France for the honeymoon, everything was perfect. We spent about three months away from the family, just spending time with each other in the French countryside. It was there Edward helped me with the control of my thirst and how to hunt. After the three months were up, we returned here, to Northern Maine. It was like Forks, in a way, except we had more sunlight days her.

Esme was amazing; she created the home our family lives in how. The bottom floor is for the family, with the living room, kitchen and library. The second floor left wing is Carlisle and Esme's, while the right wing was Rosalie and Emmett's. When it came to the third and final floor, Alice and Jasper had the left, while Edward and I had the right. Even after fifteen years, everything feels new to me.

"Love?"

Edward's voice rang out as he stepped onto the third floor landing. Getting up from the couch, I reached for the remote and turned down the music, as he stepped through the door of our bedroom.

"How was the hunt?"

A smile graced my lips as I rushed towards him and wrapped my arms around him. Edward kissed my lips softly, before pulling away,

"It was good; Emmett got himself a large deer. Feels pretty good about himself."

"I'm sure," I moved around and sat back on the couch in our room, before patting the next to me. "Come and sit with me, it's been three days and I've missed you, also…I've been practicing."

It was discovered, by accident, that I had a gift. Seeing as Alice and Jasper were the only ones to truly use their gifts on me, Carlisle thought that I had a gift, that none of us knew about. But one afternoon – about three years ago, some how, Edward was able to read my mind.

_ Edward and I were alone on the third floor, Alice and Rosalie were downstairs watching a movie, while everyone else was on a hunt. The two of us were lying in our bed as the TV was on as background music. My head lay on Edward's chest and lightly traced patterns on his bare chest. It still boggled my mind on how he didn't feel cold to me anymore, in fact, he was warm._

"_What was that?" Edward spoke, looking down towards me._

"_What?"_

"_Did…did you say something?" I shook my head with confusion. "You didn't say anything about me being warm?"_

_ I jumped back from him once what he said settled in. He heard what I was thinking. His eyes widened and looked up towards me in shock, shit. He just did it again._

"_Bella," He looked towards me warily "Think something again love."_

_ What the hell was I supposed to think? Right now him in shock._

"_You're in shock? I'm in fucking shock."_

"_Y-You…" I gasped and cupped my hand over my mouth "Edward,"_

"_I can read your thoughts, Bella."_

_ I jumped towards him and nearly tackled him down to the ground. I kissed him passionately, and we made love right there on the floor, and Edward enjoyed the fact that he could read my mind, and I reaped in the benefits. We made love for hours until the family came home, totally forgetting Alice and Rosalie were only two floors below us._

Only twelve hours after reading my thoughts, it went away. My "block" was up once more. Ever since then, Carlisle has tried and figured out what it was, which meant I spent most of my time with him and trying to figure out what exactly it was. Its mostly been trail and error, but I liked the thought of Edward being able to read my thoughts, and truly knowing what it was that I was gifted with as a vampire.

"You're still trying?" Edward smirked

"Am I ever one known to give up?"

"No," He chuckled, and sat down beside me.

I smiled "Give me your hand,"

Edward placed his hand in mine, and I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. I tried to do what Carlisle told me repeatedly. Image it like a window, and all you have to do it open it up. So that is what I did, I imagined a window, and I just had to open the fucker up. Along with that, I remembered everything. From the moment I met Edward, till now. I opened the window for Edward to read into my thoughts. I pushed and pushed and tried to get it to him, and when I heard him gasp loudly, I knew that I had done it. Opening my eyes, I looked and saw him looking down towards me with so much love and amazement, that it would've knocked me off my feet if I wasn't sitting.

"Did…did…you?"

"Bella," He grasped my face and lightly caressed my cheeks "I knew you loved me, but…seeing that…it's the most beautiful thing ever."

"You…I did it!?" I gasped

Edward nodded his head "You did it love,"

Just like the first time he read my mind, I launched myself towards him, and hugged him tightly. Edward wrapped his arms around my small frame and kissed my temple softly, before pulling back and kissing me on the lips.

"I love you, so much, Isabella." Edward kissed me once more.

"I love you too,"

I'm sure that if I could, I'd be crying. We sat there in each others arms, kissing each other, holding each other, _loving_ each other. Edward was my forever, and that was something I wanted the moment I knew that he was mine, and I was his. And now, we can start on our forever.

**-The End-**

**Charlie's Note: So, I suck at endings, so I'm really really sorry if this wasn't enough for you. I just, I don't know, I wanted to end it sort of like Breaking Dawn. Where Edward is finally able to read Bella's thoughts and the what not. Bella's gift is now different, she is a shield. Not changing anything. I hope you all enjoyed it, thank you so much for all the reviews and the support. I take it all deeply to heart.**

**I might make a PDF file of this story, if you want one, let me know either via PM, or on my blog. If the PDF file is made for this story, then it'll be posted on my tumblr blog. **


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